I invite you to turn with me in your bibles to Genesis 50. This morning we will be reading verses 15-21. You will remember that Jacob has just passed away. That leaves Joseph and his brothers, and their families. How would that make you feel?
Whenever a leader dies, there is usually a bit of upheaval that accompanies it. People often jockey for position and rank. And it is always a good time to kill off anyone who would challenge you for that position.
Remember that there had been some history between them. To say they had a rocky relationship would be an understatement. Joseph’s brothers know that the time was ripe for Joseph to make his move if he wanted. With Jacob out of the picture, who’s to say what Joseph might do? He may see that this is the time to get even with his brothers for the evils they did to him so many years earlier.
Well, Joseph’s life has been quite extra-ordinary. It has not been the kind of life most people would live. And we see that certainly in our passage today. Let’s read together Genesis 50:15-21.
"When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him." 16 So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, "Your father gave this command before he died: 17 'Say to Joseph, "Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you."' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. 18 His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Behold, we are your servants." 19 But Joseph said to them, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. 21 So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them."
Not long ago I had lunch with a man who was someone you may consider to be a prominent leader in Ashland. He held a position of influence in town, but he was relatively new to the area. He’d only moved to our community 3 years ago. So you could say he was still in that frame where he was getting his first impressions. And this was what he had to say, “There are a lot of unforgiving people in this town.”
Now, I don’t know that this vice is unique to Ashland. I’d say that it is one of those things that is common to man and basically a universal problem. But it was interesting that this was his perception. You may call it his overall, first impression.
I certainly do believe that it is a problem in our society. Again, I would say it is an universal epidemic. I think that is why there is so much teaching in the Bible about the need for forgiveness. Jesus repeatedly comes back to this doctrine and presses it as one of the most important dimensions of his teaching. Jesus would go so far as to say, “If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you.”
That’s a pretty stark, straight forward teaching. It really shows the importance of forgiving those who come to you and seek to repent of their wrongs.
And our passage today is good because it helps us to understand some of the dynamics that go into forgiving other people.
Now, you’ve heard me say before: few are those who admit their mistakes, even fewer are those who actually correct them. I might add to that, even fewer are those who would forgive those mistakes. And of those who would forgive (that miniscule population), few actually get forgiveness right.
There is a right and wrong way to forgive. And that’s again, why this passage is so good. It gives us a little overview of what forgiveness really entails; what it should really look like.
In our passage, Joseph’s brothers come and seek absolution. They are scared they Joseph is going to now get his revenge on them for their selling him off into slavery. And what we see is that Joseph does forgive them. He offers a beautiful expression of this pardon too. One that we would do well to listen to and take notes on, so that we may be more apt to uphold the command that we have to forgive.
Now, we are going to have three points today. And what I want you to observe first is the immediacy of Joseph’s forgiveness.
I. It immediacy – [15-19a]
The brothers came to him and made their petition for forgiveness and Joseph promptly responded by saying, “Fear not.” Joseph did not have to think about it. He did not have to take some time and pray about it. He did not have to retreat into his office and weigh whether or not they were worthy of his forgiveness and if they had a good enough reputation to be pardoned for what they did.
No. There was no lapse in time at all. He immediately set their consciences at ease by telling them that the guilt that they feel should not trouble them anymore. Don’t fret that I’m going to get you or take vengeance upon you. There is no space between their request and Joseph’s assurance of pardon to them.
This is perhaps the most amazing thing about this whole passage. We’re going to talk about some interesting theology in just a moment. And it should be something that you find grand. There’s a remarkable point of God’s sovereignty over evil in this passage. But this should probably be even more incredible to you. Joseph not only forgave them, but it happened in a split second and without any hesitation.
I want you to notice this. This is so important. Joseph’s actions are very much in keeping with God’s will. This is the way the whole complex of restoration is to occur. It is not to be a prolonged or a protracted exercise. Forgiveness is to coincide with repentance. The two are to go together, hand in hand. Forgiveness is always supposed to be found right on the heels of the offender’s apologies.
Think with me about how the Scripture portrays this concept. Jesus talks about it in Luke 17. He says
Luke 17:3 - Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
Luke 17:4 - "And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him."
This is the pattern that God sets out for forgiving one another. And that’s because our forgiveness is to be patterned after God’s forgiveness. Scripture tells us that our forgiving of one another is to replicate God’s forgiveness of us.
Ephesians 4:30 - Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you
Colossians 3:13 - bearing with one another, and forgiving each other…just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
When it comes to God’s forgiveness, you know that he doesn’t put you on a waiting list. He does not hesitate. He pardons that instantaneous moment after you bowed your knee and confessed your sins to him.
This is illustrated in the story about David and Bathsheba. After David’s sin with her, he was confronted by the prophet Nathan. David was convicted and confessed his wrong by saying, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Immediately after that Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin.” Not a single space was spared in the text before the assurance of pardon came to David.
That’s the beauty of how quickly God is to take away our sins. We actually try to replicate that every Sunday in our confession of sin. Immediately after that prayer of confession, we will often have a Scripture which affirms God’s pardon of our sins.
And as we see here with Joseph’s interactions with his brothers, our forgiveness of each other is to be just like that. We are to forgive just as fast and just as full as the Lord forgives us.
That’s a tall order, I know. It is difficult to do. And I would assume that Joseph could only forgive like this because he had already possessed a spirit of forgiveness. He had already put away all bitterness and put on a real and true love for his brothers. That’s something that we need to cultivate. Because forgiveness does not just spring up so quickly like this from a sinful heart. It is something that is breed by the Spirit as we seek to crucify our anger, our vendettas, and our malice. To be sure, we have to foster a forgiving spirit so that we can forgive when it comes time to do so.
And you know what? If we forgave like this—if we were quick to forgive, I wonder if people would be more willing to repent? I wonder if more relationships would be saved if we had quick reflexes when it came to forgiveness?
So that is something we can take to heart. That’s a tough lesson to work on. Being so rapid to answer the penitent with pardon.
We will never be equipped to forgive quickly if we are not first equipped theologically. can be extremely quick to forgive when our forgiveness is theologically grounded.
Well, when we look at Joseph, we find that his forgiveness is so prompt because it is grounded in an understanding of God and his sovereignty.
II. Its grounds [19b-20]
Look with me at verses 19-20. These two verses contain Joseph’s answer to his brothers’ petition. And these show us how Joseph put his full trust in God’s authority both to judge and direct sinful men.
If you are going to forgive people, your faith must be grounded in God’s sovereign ability to judge sinners.
God’s authority to judge sinners
The first thing he says is, “Am I in the place of God?” By that he admits that he has no authority to condemn them or to seek revenge. He held the highest office in the land, but he’s acknowledging here that this was out of his jurisdiction. God was the one who sat on the throne and God was the one who had the power to judge and condemn, if He felt it proper.
Now, of course, Joseph probably could have taken his brothers to court. He could have filed a lawsuit against them and he likely would have won. Joseph had rights and could have demanded reparations. He could really have stuck it to these guys.
But he understood that wouldn’t accomplish much. About the only thing that it would accomplish was feeding Joseph’s selfish interest in getting even. It certainly wouldn’t help God’s reputation or kingdom in any respect.
This is kind of what Paul gets at in 1 Corinthians 6, when he talks about not having lawsuits among brothers. Paul says it is folly to take each other to court. It is an embarrassment to the Church and to Christ. Why not rather be wronged?, he says. In other words, leave it in God’s hands.
And that’s why many people can’t forgive. They don’t believe that God will do what is right. They feel that they have to make that person suffer. You made me suffer, so I’m going to be the judge, jury and executioner and make sure you suffer.
But a forgiving person knows that is God’s job, not mine.
Joseph’s forgiveness is grounded not only in God’s authority to judge sinners, but it is also grounded in God’s authority to direct sinners.
God’s authority to direct sinners
Joseph goes on to recite one of the most famous passages of Scripture. It is one of those passages that probably should be highlighted, if it isn’t already. “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”
What is this talking about? It is talking about the relationship of man’s freedom and God’s sovereignty. You’ll notice that it expresses the fact that man is free to make bad choices. When it says, “You meant it for evil” Joseph acknowledges that his brothers were responsible for that decision. That was their decision; it was their fault. Joseph does not sugar coat that.
But he also acknowledges that God is sovereign over their evil. He says, “God meant it for good.” That is to say, God had ordained it. By His providence, God was able to use it. They were responsible; they were at fault for that evil thing that they did, but nevertheless, God was in complete control.
That’s a lot of theology packed into one little sentence, but it is some of the most important theological information we could possibly ever have. And particularly needful when it comes to forgiving people. We can forgive people because we know that God is in complete control. What they did to us, yes, it may have been extremely wicked. But we can have good hopes that their actions will bring about a greater, more glorious transaction in this world.
People who don’t believe in God (or don’t believe in the complete sovereignty of God), they have reason to be bitter. They have a reason not to be forgiving people. The things that hurt them are unpleasant. And why should they forgive? There’s nothing good that can come of it, in their eyes. Of course, I’m going to hold it against you, because I’m the captain of my own fate. And I have no real reason why I should forgive you.
But that’s not the way it really is. When we begin to see that the hurts and pains that we experience are divinely directed, having been pre-ordained from the foundation of the world, then we can be more apt to forgive.
This may be part of the reason why Jesus could say from the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” It may very well be because he knew that God was using this tragic event for the greater benefit of you and me, the salvation of many people.
This simply affirms to me that Calvinists should be the most gracious people. We say that we believe in the doctrines of grace, but I’ve known many who seem to have a disconnect between their understanding of God’s grace and their duty to be gracious.
And here we find all that much more reason to be gracious with people who offend us. God has complete authority in the matters. History is the outworking of God’s eternal decree, He is making all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.
We’ve seen its immediacy (how rapid it is) and its grounds (how theologically informed it is). Let’s also make sure we see its thoroughness (how indulgent it is)
III. Its thoroughness [21]
Look at verse 21. It isn’t very long, but if you unpack everything that it says, you’ll understand that this verse is pregnant with meaning.
First he repeats himself. He says, “So do not fear.” This is an affirmation that they have nothing to worry about. He’s not going to exact anything from them or make them suffer. These are words that are designed to assure them that he has no intent of settling the score. He’s letting bygones be bygones.
So really, he seeks to soothe their consciences. He wants them to have peace of mind about the whole thing. He does not want them to be riddled with guilt or (perhaps more to the point) be estranged from him.
The focus of these words is fellowship. Joseph wants these guys to be completely comfortable being around him. He doesn’t want anything to separate them. He wants to make sure that they know that he’s happy to hang around them and won’t be holding anything against them.
He wants to be able to worship with them and sing with them. He wants to be able to eat with them and have their children play together. He’s building a bridge, so to speak, to that fellowship.
And he not only consoles them, he is kind to them.
He goes on to say that he will provide for them and their offspring. That is to say, he proves his forgiveness not just in words, but with all the generosity that he can possibly give.
“Don’t worry, guys! I’ll continue to allow you to enjoy all the good things that you now currently enjoy. As a matter of fact, I’m going to take care of your children too.
It says then that he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. There was no bitterness held against them. There were no ill feelings against them. He did not withhold anything from them or hope that something bad would happen to them. Far from it. Joseph actually indulged them in every possible way.
This is why I say that his forgiveness was indulgent. It was thorough in that Joseph didn’t hold anything back. He sought to develop the relationship and put on actions in keeping with his forgiveness.
One phrase that has resonated with me ever since I heard it goes like this: "You are not forgetting what happened, but you are forgetting that it caused a break in your relationship."
We hear people say, “You need to forgive and forget.” But that’s not possible. Especially if you’ve been hurt in a big way. Joseph probably would not forget all the years he spent in prison or as a slave. But he could try to forget that it caused a break in their relationship. And that’s what we see him doing here.
And that’s the pattern, again, of God’s forgiveness. God does not forget what we’ve done. It is impossible for him to forget. He is omniscient. He knows everything: past, present, and future. But, despite the breach of relationship, he chooses to act like it never happened. He enters into fellowship with us. He blesses us. He communes with us and serves us. He draws near to us and acts as if the breach had never happened.
That’s what real, biblical forgiveness is all about. Real forgiveness seeks the fellowship it once had. It goes out of the way to restore that which was lost and build bridges.
So it is not consistent to say, "I forgive you, now go away." or “I don’t really want to be around you anymore.” "I forgive you, but don’t want to ever talk to you again." "I forgive you, but I find it very awkward to be around you."
A pastor friend of mine said that his litmus test of reconciliation is always whether or not people can have a meal together. He says, when you share food and sit around a table and have real, extended conversation –not just about the weather or sports, but truly communicate, that’s a real sign that there’s been restoration and forgiveness.
I recognize that you could fake it. But if you take to heart the idea of what is communicated in this passage – that of indulging the repentant person and seeking to put on the characteristics that are in keeping with forgiveness, that can certainly be a good gauge to use.
All in all, it boils down to love; an indulgent love. One that will not let the past get in the way of the future. It’s not just forgiveness in word only; it is demonstrable, relational, and liberal (in that it gives generously to the one who probably not deserve it).
To put it another way, it holds nothing back because it exudes the fact that you hold nothing against that person.
Conclusion
This is a different view of forgiveness than we've probably been used to. As I mentioned earlier, in my introduction, forgiveness is a foreign concept to so many people. But if we began to think of forgiveness in these terms--if we began to offer forgiveness in this way, I wonder what would happen. Certainly we'd have more relationships. But I wonder if we'd have more repentance too. I wonder if more people would be more apt to seek forgiveness, if we were able to apt to give this kind of quick and indulgent grace.
Let's make that our aim. Let's put that to the test. Let's seek to break that stereotype that there are a lot of unforgiving people in our town by taking Joseph's actions to heart.
Whenever a leader dies, there is usually a bit of upheaval that accompanies it. People often jockey for position and rank. And it is always a good time to kill off anyone who would challenge you for that position.
Remember that there had been some history between them. To say they had a rocky relationship would be an understatement. Joseph’s brothers know that the time was ripe for Joseph to make his move if he wanted. With Jacob out of the picture, who’s to say what Joseph might do? He may see that this is the time to get even with his brothers for the evils they did to him so many years earlier.
Well, Joseph’s life has been quite extra-ordinary. It has not been the kind of life most people would live. And we see that certainly in our passage today. Let’s read together Genesis 50:15-21.
"When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him." 16 So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, "Your father gave this command before he died: 17 'Say to Joseph, "Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you."' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. 18 His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Behold, we are your servants." 19 But Joseph said to them, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. 21 So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them."
Not long ago I had lunch with a man who was someone you may consider to be a prominent leader in Ashland. He held a position of influence in town, but he was relatively new to the area. He’d only moved to our community 3 years ago. So you could say he was still in that frame where he was getting his first impressions. And this was what he had to say, “There are a lot of unforgiving people in this town.”
Now, I don’t know that this vice is unique to Ashland. I’d say that it is one of those things that is common to man and basically a universal problem. But it was interesting that this was his perception. You may call it his overall, first impression.
I certainly do believe that it is a problem in our society. Again, I would say it is an universal epidemic. I think that is why there is so much teaching in the Bible about the need for forgiveness. Jesus repeatedly comes back to this doctrine and presses it as one of the most important dimensions of his teaching. Jesus would go so far as to say, “If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you.”
That’s a pretty stark, straight forward teaching. It really shows the importance of forgiving those who come to you and seek to repent of their wrongs.
And our passage today is good because it helps us to understand some of the dynamics that go into forgiving other people.
Now, you’ve heard me say before: few are those who admit their mistakes, even fewer are those who actually correct them. I might add to that, even fewer are those who would forgive those mistakes. And of those who would forgive (that miniscule population), few actually get forgiveness right.
There is a right and wrong way to forgive. And that’s again, why this passage is so good. It gives us a little overview of what forgiveness really entails; what it should really look like.
In our passage, Joseph’s brothers come and seek absolution. They are scared they Joseph is going to now get his revenge on them for their selling him off into slavery. And what we see is that Joseph does forgive them. He offers a beautiful expression of this pardon too. One that we would do well to listen to and take notes on, so that we may be more apt to uphold the command that we have to forgive.
Now, we are going to have three points today. And what I want you to observe first is the immediacy of Joseph’s forgiveness.
I. It immediacy – [15-19a]
The brothers came to him and made their petition for forgiveness and Joseph promptly responded by saying, “Fear not.” Joseph did not have to think about it. He did not have to take some time and pray about it. He did not have to retreat into his office and weigh whether or not they were worthy of his forgiveness and if they had a good enough reputation to be pardoned for what they did.
No. There was no lapse in time at all. He immediately set their consciences at ease by telling them that the guilt that they feel should not trouble them anymore. Don’t fret that I’m going to get you or take vengeance upon you. There is no space between their request and Joseph’s assurance of pardon to them.
This is perhaps the most amazing thing about this whole passage. We’re going to talk about some interesting theology in just a moment. And it should be something that you find grand. There’s a remarkable point of God’s sovereignty over evil in this passage. But this should probably be even more incredible to you. Joseph not only forgave them, but it happened in a split second and without any hesitation.
I want you to notice this. This is so important. Joseph’s actions are very much in keeping with God’s will. This is the way the whole complex of restoration is to occur. It is not to be a prolonged or a protracted exercise. Forgiveness is to coincide with repentance. The two are to go together, hand in hand. Forgiveness is always supposed to be found right on the heels of the offender’s apologies.
Think with me about how the Scripture portrays this concept. Jesus talks about it in Luke 17. He says
Luke 17:3 - Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
Luke 17:4 - "And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him."
This is the pattern that God sets out for forgiving one another. And that’s because our forgiveness is to be patterned after God’s forgiveness. Scripture tells us that our forgiving of one another is to replicate God’s forgiveness of us.
Ephesians 4:30 - Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you
Colossians 3:13 - bearing with one another, and forgiving each other…just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
When it comes to God’s forgiveness, you know that he doesn’t put you on a waiting list. He does not hesitate. He pardons that instantaneous moment after you bowed your knee and confessed your sins to him.
This is illustrated in the story about David and Bathsheba. After David’s sin with her, he was confronted by the prophet Nathan. David was convicted and confessed his wrong by saying, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Immediately after that Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin.” Not a single space was spared in the text before the assurance of pardon came to David.
That’s the beauty of how quickly God is to take away our sins. We actually try to replicate that every Sunday in our confession of sin. Immediately after that prayer of confession, we will often have a Scripture which affirms God’s pardon of our sins.
And as we see here with Joseph’s interactions with his brothers, our forgiveness of each other is to be just like that. We are to forgive just as fast and just as full as the Lord forgives us.
That’s a tall order, I know. It is difficult to do. And I would assume that Joseph could only forgive like this because he had already possessed a spirit of forgiveness. He had already put away all bitterness and put on a real and true love for his brothers. That’s something that we need to cultivate. Because forgiveness does not just spring up so quickly like this from a sinful heart. It is something that is breed by the Spirit as we seek to crucify our anger, our vendettas, and our malice. To be sure, we have to foster a forgiving spirit so that we can forgive when it comes time to do so.
And you know what? If we forgave like this—if we were quick to forgive, I wonder if people would be more willing to repent? I wonder if more relationships would be saved if we had quick reflexes when it came to forgiveness?
So that is something we can take to heart. That’s a tough lesson to work on. Being so rapid to answer the penitent with pardon.
We will never be equipped to forgive quickly if we are not first equipped theologically. can be extremely quick to forgive when our forgiveness is theologically grounded.
Well, when we look at Joseph, we find that his forgiveness is so prompt because it is grounded in an understanding of God and his sovereignty.
II. Its grounds [19b-20]
Look with me at verses 19-20. These two verses contain Joseph’s answer to his brothers’ petition. And these show us how Joseph put his full trust in God’s authority both to judge and direct sinful men.
If you are going to forgive people, your faith must be grounded in God’s sovereign ability to judge sinners.
God’s authority to judge sinners
The first thing he says is, “Am I in the place of God?” By that he admits that he has no authority to condemn them or to seek revenge. He held the highest office in the land, but he’s acknowledging here that this was out of his jurisdiction. God was the one who sat on the throne and God was the one who had the power to judge and condemn, if He felt it proper.
Now, of course, Joseph probably could have taken his brothers to court. He could have filed a lawsuit against them and he likely would have won. Joseph had rights and could have demanded reparations. He could really have stuck it to these guys.
But he understood that wouldn’t accomplish much. About the only thing that it would accomplish was feeding Joseph’s selfish interest in getting even. It certainly wouldn’t help God’s reputation or kingdom in any respect.
This is kind of what Paul gets at in 1 Corinthians 6, when he talks about not having lawsuits among brothers. Paul says it is folly to take each other to court. It is an embarrassment to the Church and to Christ. Why not rather be wronged?, he says. In other words, leave it in God’s hands.
And that’s why many people can’t forgive. They don’t believe that God will do what is right. They feel that they have to make that person suffer. You made me suffer, so I’m going to be the judge, jury and executioner and make sure you suffer.
But a forgiving person knows that is God’s job, not mine.
Joseph’s forgiveness is grounded not only in God’s authority to judge sinners, but it is also grounded in God’s authority to direct sinners.
God’s authority to direct sinners
Joseph goes on to recite one of the most famous passages of Scripture. It is one of those passages that probably should be highlighted, if it isn’t already. “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”
What is this talking about? It is talking about the relationship of man’s freedom and God’s sovereignty. You’ll notice that it expresses the fact that man is free to make bad choices. When it says, “You meant it for evil” Joseph acknowledges that his brothers were responsible for that decision. That was their decision; it was their fault. Joseph does not sugar coat that.
But he also acknowledges that God is sovereign over their evil. He says, “God meant it for good.” That is to say, God had ordained it. By His providence, God was able to use it. They were responsible; they were at fault for that evil thing that they did, but nevertheless, God was in complete control.
That’s a lot of theology packed into one little sentence, but it is some of the most important theological information we could possibly ever have. And particularly needful when it comes to forgiving people. We can forgive people because we know that God is in complete control. What they did to us, yes, it may have been extremely wicked. But we can have good hopes that their actions will bring about a greater, more glorious transaction in this world.
People who don’t believe in God (or don’t believe in the complete sovereignty of God), they have reason to be bitter. They have a reason not to be forgiving people. The things that hurt them are unpleasant. And why should they forgive? There’s nothing good that can come of it, in their eyes. Of course, I’m going to hold it against you, because I’m the captain of my own fate. And I have no real reason why I should forgive you.
But that’s not the way it really is. When we begin to see that the hurts and pains that we experience are divinely directed, having been pre-ordained from the foundation of the world, then we can be more apt to forgive.
This may be part of the reason why Jesus could say from the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” It may very well be because he knew that God was using this tragic event for the greater benefit of you and me, the salvation of many people.
This simply affirms to me that Calvinists should be the most gracious people. We say that we believe in the doctrines of grace, but I’ve known many who seem to have a disconnect between their understanding of God’s grace and their duty to be gracious.
And here we find all that much more reason to be gracious with people who offend us. God has complete authority in the matters. History is the outworking of God’s eternal decree, He is making all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.
We’ve seen its immediacy (how rapid it is) and its grounds (how theologically informed it is). Let’s also make sure we see its thoroughness (how indulgent it is)
III. Its thoroughness [21]
Look at verse 21. It isn’t very long, but if you unpack everything that it says, you’ll understand that this verse is pregnant with meaning.
First he repeats himself. He says, “So do not fear.” This is an affirmation that they have nothing to worry about. He’s not going to exact anything from them or make them suffer. These are words that are designed to assure them that he has no intent of settling the score. He’s letting bygones be bygones.
So really, he seeks to soothe their consciences. He wants them to have peace of mind about the whole thing. He does not want them to be riddled with guilt or (perhaps more to the point) be estranged from him.
The focus of these words is fellowship. Joseph wants these guys to be completely comfortable being around him. He doesn’t want anything to separate them. He wants to make sure that they know that he’s happy to hang around them and won’t be holding anything against them.
He wants to be able to worship with them and sing with them. He wants to be able to eat with them and have their children play together. He’s building a bridge, so to speak, to that fellowship.
And he not only consoles them, he is kind to them.
He goes on to say that he will provide for them and their offspring. That is to say, he proves his forgiveness not just in words, but with all the generosity that he can possibly give.
“Don’t worry, guys! I’ll continue to allow you to enjoy all the good things that you now currently enjoy. As a matter of fact, I’m going to take care of your children too.
It says then that he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. There was no bitterness held against them. There were no ill feelings against them. He did not withhold anything from them or hope that something bad would happen to them. Far from it. Joseph actually indulged them in every possible way.
This is why I say that his forgiveness was indulgent. It was thorough in that Joseph didn’t hold anything back. He sought to develop the relationship and put on actions in keeping with his forgiveness.
One phrase that has resonated with me ever since I heard it goes like this: "You are not forgetting what happened, but you are forgetting that it caused a break in your relationship."
We hear people say, “You need to forgive and forget.” But that’s not possible. Especially if you’ve been hurt in a big way. Joseph probably would not forget all the years he spent in prison or as a slave. But he could try to forget that it caused a break in their relationship. And that’s what we see him doing here.
And that’s the pattern, again, of God’s forgiveness. God does not forget what we’ve done. It is impossible for him to forget. He is omniscient. He knows everything: past, present, and future. But, despite the breach of relationship, he chooses to act like it never happened. He enters into fellowship with us. He blesses us. He communes with us and serves us. He draws near to us and acts as if the breach had never happened.
That’s what real, biblical forgiveness is all about. Real forgiveness seeks the fellowship it once had. It goes out of the way to restore that which was lost and build bridges.
So it is not consistent to say, "I forgive you, now go away." or “I don’t really want to be around you anymore.” "I forgive you, but don’t want to ever talk to you again." "I forgive you, but I find it very awkward to be around you."
A pastor friend of mine said that his litmus test of reconciliation is always whether or not people can have a meal together. He says, when you share food and sit around a table and have real, extended conversation –not just about the weather or sports, but truly communicate, that’s a real sign that there’s been restoration and forgiveness.
I recognize that you could fake it. But if you take to heart the idea of what is communicated in this passage – that of indulging the repentant person and seeking to put on the characteristics that are in keeping with forgiveness, that can certainly be a good gauge to use.
All in all, it boils down to love; an indulgent love. One that will not let the past get in the way of the future. It’s not just forgiveness in word only; it is demonstrable, relational, and liberal (in that it gives generously to the one who probably not deserve it).
To put it another way, it holds nothing back because it exudes the fact that you hold nothing against that person.
Conclusion
This is a different view of forgiveness than we've probably been used to. As I mentioned earlier, in my introduction, forgiveness is a foreign concept to so many people. But if we began to think of forgiveness in these terms--if we began to offer forgiveness in this way, I wonder what would happen. Certainly we'd have more relationships. But I wonder if we'd have more repentance too. I wonder if more people would be more apt to seek forgiveness, if we were able to apt to give this kind of quick and indulgent grace.
Let's make that our aim. Let's put that to the test. Let's seek to break that stereotype that there are a lot of unforgiving people in our town by taking Joseph's actions to heart.