The Children of Believers
& the Church
. . .
Ephesians 6:1-4
Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
The message begins at approx. the 27 min mark.
This morning you may be interested to know that this will be the shortest passage I have ever preached on. Technically our passage is contained in Ephesians 6:1a. It is really only one lonely word; namely the word "children."
I have said I do not want to go at a Martyn Lloyd-Jones pace. I intend to keep that promise. This is the most Lloyd-Jones I will be. If you think I’m crazy, just remember Lloyd-Jones preached 4 sermons on the words, “But God” in chapter 2. So, technically, we are cruising at a break neck speed by comparison.
Last week we began to think about the discipleship of children. We considered verses 1-3 and what it said about the role of children. We understood that they are to obey and we looked at at all that is entailed in that obedience.
In verse 4 Paul talks about the role of parents. We are also going to consider this role in some detail at another time. We are going to see what God requires of them as leaders of the home. We are going to spell out what is incumbent upon them as the authorities of the home.
But today I want us to think a little more about children, especially as it relates to their place in the church. This is not too far from our theme. We are talking about life in the home, of course. But there’s a sense in which home life intersects with church life.
This is clearly seen from the fact that Paul has said that parents are to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We should understand that this, at its very least, means that parents have an obligation to bring their children to worship and have them be a part of the life of the church.
And our passage itself exemplifies this. You understand that, in this passage, Paul is addressing children. This letter would have been read in the context of the body as they were gathered, likely for corporate worship.
There would have been a number of different house churches in Ephesus and this letter would have been circulated among those churches. The leaders of the church would have received it and possibly read it over just to get a preview. But then, come Sunday morning, when all their members were gathered together, they would have read this letter to the congregation.
And in this context the wives would have been addressed. Then the husbands, and then the children and parents and the slaves. Each segment of the congregation would have been attentive and instructed.
But it is the fact that Paul addresses the children that I want us to key in on. Children were there; they were in the midst of the gathered body. They were present for the reading of this letter. They heard these words being read from the pulpit, as it were.
And because they were there, I believe there are some lessons for us to key in on. There are some principles for us to take to heart; principles that are actually quite fundamental to our own church and how we do things. As a matter of fact, these may be points that many of us already hold quite dearly. But it may be good just to show that they do have biblical grounding. We do not hold them willy-nilly; nor did we simply make them up.
And I don’t doubt that there may be some new things to learn too. We may even learn some interesting things regarding our differences as a congregation too.
All in all, this passage helps us develop what we might call “a philosophy of ministry.” Certainly, as parents (and as a congregation as a whole), it gives us insight into why we do what we do as a congregation; or maybe what we should be doing when it comes to our children and the church.
Well, what then can we say about the children of believers and their relation to the church?
The first thing we can say is that children (and we might specify that it is children of all ages) are expected to be a part of the regular gatherings for corporate worship; at least in so far as they can. To put it another way, corporate worship is to be a family integrated affair.
I. Worship is to be a family integrated affair
Many of you know that we at Hopewell call ourselves a “family integrated church.” This is one verse to which we can point to support that idea.
As Paul begins this section he starts with the simple word, “Children.” I is the most general word for children in the Greek language. There are all kinds of Greek words for children, but this one stands for any kind of young person, from infancy to the teenage years.
And when you hear this word “children,” you instantly are struck with the realization that worship in the first century was not like it often is in 21st century America. The common practice today among churches is to shuffle kids off to another part of the building in order to have what they may call, “children’s church.”
But, as we can see from what is said here, that’s not the way it was intended to be. Paul had every confidence that when the people of God gathered, he would be able to speak directly to each and every member of the household. The women would be there. The men would be there. And the assumption was that the children would be right there as well.
Now, certainly, we understand that this does not exclude some age specific discipleship. Neither does it mean that children are expected to sit through an entire service from the time they are born. No, we understand that these are skills that children need to develop. They need to be trained to sit quietly and listen. And sometimes they will need taken out of the service for a little discipline or perhaps they just reached the limits of their attention span.
But as we look at the dynamic of the biblical model, we see something that is rather different than what is practiced in much of evangelical world today. And we should understand that the removal of children from the context of corporate worship is nothing less than a modern innovation. The idea that children should be spending their time away from their parents gluing macaroni to paper plates is foreign to Scripture and to most of the history of the church.
It has only been in recent years that we began to segregate the church based on age. And it has come about due to several influences. We can point most particularly to public education and its secular theory of children, as well as the influence of existentialism and pietism in the church.
You understand that secularists have stressed the individualized development of children. And they have said that at different ages kids have different needs. So the world of education went through a revolutionary transformation. You see this in that the one room schoolhouse transitioned to the age specific classroom experience (i.e. the K-12 system as we now know it). Their whole thought was that children would learn best if they were on their own levels. And it was nothing more than secular theory being advanced upon our children and our society.
Then you also have the influence of existentialism and pietism in the church. This is where you have the modern notion of having a “worship experience.” Somehow you need to have an individualized, spiritual experience with God. And your children need their own individual, spiritual experience. And God forbid that you would have children with you in worship to detract you from having this radical, spiritual experience. If you have someone tugging on your pant leg the whole time, how can you really worship God and connect with Him?
Subsequently, we began moving children out of the context of public worship. And it has become something only for adults. And this has been a scurge upon the kingdom. As we see the statistics in recent years about how kids are leaving the church in droves once they get to their late teens to mid 20’s. I appreciate what Alistar Begg has said regarding this. They are not dropping out of the church; they never dropped in. How can they drop out if they were never a part of it in the first place?
The fact of the matter is we’ve said almost all their lives, “Worship isn’t for you.” So we shouldn’t be surprised that, when they become adults, they come to the conclusion, “Worship isn’t for me.”
However, we recognize what Ephesians 6 is attempting to tell us. Worship is for our children. They are to be involved. And as they gather week to week with their families, they have the message reinforced over and over: “Today is the Lord’s Day; these are the Lord’s people; this is what the Lord’s people do on the Lord’s Day. And it would be odd for me to be absent from it.”
Contrary to the popular belief, worship is not just for grown ups. Ephesians 6 tells us that children should not be divorced from their parents when it comes to the worship of God. Rather, they should be expected to be vital participants.
Which leads us to the second point that I think that we can draw from this passage. These three verses not only tell us that worship is to be a family integrated affair, it also tells us that children can benefit from deep theological teaching and preaching.
II. Children of all ages benefit from deep theological teaching and preaching
As you come to Ephesians 6 and hear Paul addressing the children, you recognize that they have not only been involved in the worship service, but they have been sitting and listening to this entire letter.
It isn’t like Paul is trying to get the children’s attention for the first time when he comes to chapter 6. Paul has been addressing the children ever since chapter 1. When he went on and on about God having chosen us before the foundation of the world, he was talking to the children. When he was talking about the mystery that has been revealed in the present ages, he was talking to the children. When he was talking about how we need to subdue our anger and put on tenderness and kindness, he was talking to the children.
Now, someone might say, “Matt, do we really expect that the young children should understand that whole predestination thing?” I’m not say that every child will understood everything in the letter, but yes. There should be an expectation that young people will be able to formulate some sort of understanding of even the biggest doctrines.
I always thought it was interesting that little section of John 3 where Jesus was approached by Nicodemus. Jesus begins talking about the doctrine of regeneration. He says that you must be born again. But then he adds the fact that the Spirit is like the wind, which blows where it pleases. That is the idea of particular redemption and irresistible grace. The Spirit chooses who he regenerates and makes an effectual change upon their heart. Of course, Nicodemus replies, “How can these things be?” And you remember how Jesus replies. He says, “You are a teacher in Israel and you do not know these things?” He’s basically saying that any little child should know these things, why don’t you?
The point is that we should not underestimate the capabilities of a young person’s mind. We are told over and over today that children need age specific training. And the reason is because their minds have not developed fully. Therefore they cannot grasp what we would call “grown up” concepts.
While it is true that they may not grasp everything, we should not make children out to be complete imbeciles who cannot soak in big truths. Any Christian parent who has kept their children in worship regularly are always impressed that their children certainly do grasp a lot.
If anything, we should remember that they can at least hear it. It might not make complete sense to them yet, but at least they have heard it. There can be some degree of retention of at least the concept. Perhaps they cannot wrap their minds around it fully, but they’ve at least been exposed to it. That then becomes something to build upon.
And let’s be honest, the Bible is not all that complicated. When I say that children should be able to can benefit from deep theological preaching and teaching, I’m not talking about something like rocket science or calculus. I call it deep and theological, but maybe I should say that it is rich biblical teaching. Maybe that will make it sound less intimidating.
I once heard that it was written on a 6th grade level. I actually think that is a little high because most of the Bible is composed of narratives. The Bible is filled with stories that pretty much anyone can read and comprehend.
And do not forget that, if a minister is doing his job, he won’t be speaking on a level which requires a college degree. It should be simple and plain, just like the Scriptures are simple and plain.
I still say that the greatest compliment I ever received came from a mom who said, “You speak to my kindergarten brain.” It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart. She was very intelligent. It’s just that she was there with her children during the service. They were younger and she would have to tend to them and have her attention turn away from the message repeatedly. And she was always appreciative that she could tune back in and understand what was being said.
People will often ask me if we have children’s church. And I sometimes say, “Yes, we have it every Sunday.” And then I explain that the Bible and the exposition of it is for them every Sunday.
I also like what my seminary professor once said. If your preaching is boring, you are committing a great sin against God; that’s because the Bible is not boring. The Bible is dynamic. It is exciting. It almost always has a little punch to it that makes it stimulating. The only way it may be boring is if you make it boring.
But the fact remains, when you go home and are sitting around the table, you can typically probe your children and find out what they got out of the service. If they were attentive and were focused on the delivery of God’s word, you will find that they will be able to pick up much more than what the secular theorists say that they can.
And maybe I can add that this should be a challenge to the younger ones in our midst. All of what we do here is for you. Make every effort to listen and learn. Pick up as much as you can. If there is something that you do not grasp, ask your parents about it over lunch. The Scriptures encourage us to seek wisdom and prize it like gems.
And we who are their parents should be expecting that they can benefit from the ministry of God’s word.
Now, there’s one more point that I want to make on the basis of our text for today. We’ve seen that children of all ages should be incorporated into the worship service. We’ve noted that they should be expected to benefit from the ministry of the word.
I would also like us to realize, lastly, that children are a vital part of the church and have a special relationship to it.
III. Children of believers have a unique relationship to the church
Let me say that again. We should understand that the children of believers are a vital part of the church and have a special relationship to the church.
Now, I’m going to have to do some clarifying here, because we are a mixed bag on this topic. I recognize that Baptists and Presbyterians have some differing views on this point.
But before we do that, let’s just reiterate the point we’ve been working with this whole time. As Paul takes pen in hand and begins writing this letter, he has in mind the entire church in Ephesus. He may be thinking of all the different house churches that are in the city, but he has in mind all of those who are somehow affiliated with Christ’s church. And as he writes he addresses the children.
Again, the Greek word is the generic word for children, meaning all children: boys and girls, young and old. They may be held in their mother’s arms, or they may be sitting next to their father taking notes. And, no matter what their status, they are being addressed as part of the church community.
This should tell us something about the children of believers. At the very least, it should tell us that they are incredibly blessed; blessed above many other children who do not have the opportunity to be under the ministry of the Word and participating in the worship of God.
Now, this gets us into the differences between Baptists and Presbyterians, and how we view our children. And it might be helpful to lay out some of those differences.
When it comes to Baptist belief, the Baptists typically do not see their children as being members of the church. In Baptist theology children are recognized to be unbelievers who have no affiliation with church membership, at least not until they come to be converted. Once they profess faith they are allowed to be baptized and admitted into the membership of the church.
So, thus far, they recognize what children of believers are not. And the question that comes up is how are children of believers to be regarded in the Baptist framework.
Now, from what I gather, there are three basic views on how Baptists have typically viewed the children of believers. The first view is perhaps the most radical. Some Baptists take the view that their children are no different than pagan children. Thus, they have no relation to the church at all.
I am afraid that does not do justice to reality or to the biblical text. Because, as you notice here, Paul speaks to children. And obviously that implies that they are somehow related to the church. If they had no relation, Paul either would have said nothing to them or he would have said, “Children, if you do not believe in Christ, repent and be saved!” And then he may have another section dealing with children who have already been converted where he could say, “Obey your parents.”
I think you can see that Paul’s assumption is that all the children have at least some relation to the church.
Which leads me to the second way Baptists have viewed the children of believers. Sometimes Baptists have viewed children as “wards of the church.” You may have heard of orphans being called “wards of the state.” This is akin to that. The children of believers are not members of the church, but they do recognize that their children are unique. They are not like their heathen neighbor’s kids because they are brought up in the church. They have opportunity to hear the word of God and witness first hand all kinds of spiritual things. They are prayed for and hear testimonies of God’s grace in the lives of people around them.
So this view recognizes that the children of believers have a step up on their pagan counterparts. That’s because they are born into a believing family and participate in the life of the church to some degree. Therefore they are, as I said, heathen orphans who may be regarded as “wards of the church.”
Another view that is commonly held among Baptists is that the children of believers are “disciples who need to be evangelized.” They are unbelievers, so they need evangelized. But at the same time, they are the children who are being discipled in the way of God. Their parents will catechize them and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They will be taught the doctrines of the faith and be expected to follow the commands of God. So they are unbelieving disciples.
I may go so far as to say that these “disciples who need to be evangelized” are expected to convert. They are expected to one day become full fledged members of the church, but so far as they lack a profession of faith they are “disciples who need evangelized.”
Now, as a Presbyterian, I am very friendly to that idea. That’s because it is essentially our view. Presbyterians believe that the children of believers are disciples and they do need to be nurtured in the gospel all their lives.
But in the Presbyterian view, children have a very close relationship to the church because they are a distinct part of it. This is one of the main differences between the Baptists and the Presbyterians. Presbyterians believe that God’s covenant extends to believers and their children. Therefore, since children are included in the covenant community, they are members of the visible church.
We recognize that does not make them a Christian in the truest and fullest sense of that term. We recognize that they may not be a believer and have communion with Christ. That is why we do not allow them to participate in the Communion Supper. Not, at least, Until they come to a point where they profess the faith and show evidence that they are walking with the Lord.
So we have that little phrase, “non-communing member.”
But, according to the Presbyterian view, children do have a place in the church, they are part of God’s covenant family, and (as such) they have obligations to learn about the Lord and follow him. So, when Paul says, “Children, obey your parents.” in the Presbyterian view he’s simply calling them to fulfill their covenant obligations.
Now, I go through that for two reasons. On the one hand, perhaps it helps to clarify in your mind some of the different positions. But on the other hand, I belabor this point to simply offer this: Whether we are a Baptist or a Presbyterian, we should see how privileged our children are. God has given them a unique blessing; a blessing that should not be taken for granted.
God has put them in the universe of the church. You could have been born into the neighbor’s house and you may have grown up never having heard of God’s grace. You are uniquely blessed because you have been able to behold holy things, many of you from the time you were born.
And, at least for the Presbyterian children among us, God has entered into a covenant with you. He has given you the promises and allows you to call upon him and pray to him. What a wonderful blessing that should be to you!
And since you have this blessing, do you not then see the importance of responding to these specific commands he has laid down here? After coming to recognize the place the unique place you have here in our midst, should you not conclude that you have a solemn obligation to accept your role in your family and give obedience to your parents as God wants?
May it be so.
I have said I do not want to go at a Martyn Lloyd-Jones pace. I intend to keep that promise. This is the most Lloyd-Jones I will be. If you think I’m crazy, just remember Lloyd-Jones preached 4 sermons on the words, “But God” in chapter 2. So, technically, we are cruising at a break neck speed by comparison.
Last week we began to think about the discipleship of children. We considered verses 1-3 and what it said about the role of children. We understood that they are to obey and we looked at at all that is entailed in that obedience.
In verse 4 Paul talks about the role of parents. We are also going to consider this role in some detail at another time. We are going to see what God requires of them as leaders of the home. We are going to spell out what is incumbent upon them as the authorities of the home.
But today I want us to think a little more about children, especially as it relates to their place in the church. This is not too far from our theme. We are talking about life in the home, of course. But there’s a sense in which home life intersects with church life.
This is clearly seen from the fact that Paul has said that parents are to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We should understand that this, at its very least, means that parents have an obligation to bring their children to worship and have them be a part of the life of the church.
And our passage itself exemplifies this. You understand that, in this passage, Paul is addressing children. This letter would have been read in the context of the body as they were gathered, likely for corporate worship.
There would have been a number of different house churches in Ephesus and this letter would have been circulated among those churches. The leaders of the church would have received it and possibly read it over just to get a preview. But then, come Sunday morning, when all their members were gathered together, they would have read this letter to the congregation.
And in this context the wives would have been addressed. Then the husbands, and then the children and parents and the slaves. Each segment of the congregation would have been attentive and instructed.
But it is the fact that Paul addresses the children that I want us to key in on. Children were there; they were in the midst of the gathered body. They were present for the reading of this letter. They heard these words being read from the pulpit, as it were.
And because they were there, I believe there are some lessons for us to key in on. There are some principles for us to take to heart; principles that are actually quite fundamental to our own church and how we do things. As a matter of fact, these may be points that many of us already hold quite dearly. But it may be good just to show that they do have biblical grounding. We do not hold them willy-nilly; nor did we simply make them up.
And I don’t doubt that there may be some new things to learn too. We may even learn some interesting things regarding our differences as a congregation too.
All in all, this passage helps us develop what we might call “a philosophy of ministry.” Certainly, as parents (and as a congregation as a whole), it gives us insight into why we do what we do as a congregation; or maybe what we should be doing when it comes to our children and the church.
Well, what then can we say about the children of believers and their relation to the church?
The first thing we can say is that children (and we might specify that it is children of all ages) are expected to be a part of the regular gatherings for corporate worship; at least in so far as they can. To put it another way, corporate worship is to be a family integrated affair.
I. Worship is to be a family integrated affair
Many of you know that we at Hopewell call ourselves a “family integrated church.” This is one verse to which we can point to support that idea.
As Paul begins this section he starts with the simple word, “Children.” I is the most general word for children in the Greek language. There are all kinds of Greek words for children, but this one stands for any kind of young person, from infancy to the teenage years.
And when you hear this word “children,” you instantly are struck with the realization that worship in the first century was not like it often is in 21st century America. The common practice today among churches is to shuffle kids off to another part of the building in order to have what they may call, “children’s church.”
But, as we can see from what is said here, that’s not the way it was intended to be. Paul had every confidence that when the people of God gathered, he would be able to speak directly to each and every member of the household. The women would be there. The men would be there. And the assumption was that the children would be right there as well.
Now, certainly, we understand that this does not exclude some age specific discipleship. Neither does it mean that children are expected to sit through an entire service from the time they are born. No, we understand that these are skills that children need to develop. They need to be trained to sit quietly and listen. And sometimes they will need taken out of the service for a little discipline or perhaps they just reached the limits of their attention span.
But as we look at the dynamic of the biblical model, we see something that is rather different than what is practiced in much of evangelical world today. And we should understand that the removal of children from the context of corporate worship is nothing less than a modern innovation. The idea that children should be spending their time away from their parents gluing macaroni to paper plates is foreign to Scripture and to most of the history of the church.
It has only been in recent years that we began to segregate the church based on age. And it has come about due to several influences. We can point most particularly to public education and its secular theory of children, as well as the influence of existentialism and pietism in the church.
You understand that secularists have stressed the individualized development of children. And they have said that at different ages kids have different needs. So the world of education went through a revolutionary transformation. You see this in that the one room schoolhouse transitioned to the age specific classroom experience (i.e. the K-12 system as we now know it). Their whole thought was that children would learn best if they were on their own levels. And it was nothing more than secular theory being advanced upon our children and our society.
Then you also have the influence of existentialism and pietism in the church. This is where you have the modern notion of having a “worship experience.” Somehow you need to have an individualized, spiritual experience with God. And your children need their own individual, spiritual experience. And God forbid that you would have children with you in worship to detract you from having this radical, spiritual experience. If you have someone tugging on your pant leg the whole time, how can you really worship God and connect with Him?
Subsequently, we began moving children out of the context of public worship. And it has become something only for adults. And this has been a scurge upon the kingdom. As we see the statistics in recent years about how kids are leaving the church in droves once they get to their late teens to mid 20’s. I appreciate what Alistar Begg has said regarding this. They are not dropping out of the church; they never dropped in. How can they drop out if they were never a part of it in the first place?
The fact of the matter is we’ve said almost all their lives, “Worship isn’t for you.” So we shouldn’t be surprised that, when they become adults, they come to the conclusion, “Worship isn’t for me.”
However, we recognize what Ephesians 6 is attempting to tell us. Worship is for our children. They are to be involved. And as they gather week to week with their families, they have the message reinforced over and over: “Today is the Lord’s Day; these are the Lord’s people; this is what the Lord’s people do on the Lord’s Day. And it would be odd for me to be absent from it.”
Contrary to the popular belief, worship is not just for grown ups. Ephesians 6 tells us that children should not be divorced from their parents when it comes to the worship of God. Rather, they should be expected to be vital participants.
Which leads us to the second point that I think that we can draw from this passage. These three verses not only tell us that worship is to be a family integrated affair, it also tells us that children can benefit from deep theological teaching and preaching.
II. Children of all ages benefit from deep theological teaching and preaching
As you come to Ephesians 6 and hear Paul addressing the children, you recognize that they have not only been involved in the worship service, but they have been sitting and listening to this entire letter.
It isn’t like Paul is trying to get the children’s attention for the first time when he comes to chapter 6. Paul has been addressing the children ever since chapter 1. When he went on and on about God having chosen us before the foundation of the world, he was talking to the children. When he was talking about the mystery that has been revealed in the present ages, he was talking to the children. When he was talking about how we need to subdue our anger and put on tenderness and kindness, he was talking to the children.
Now, someone might say, “Matt, do we really expect that the young children should understand that whole predestination thing?” I’m not say that every child will understood everything in the letter, but yes. There should be an expectation that young people will be able to formulate some sort of understanding of even the biggest doctrines.
I always thought it was interesting that little section of John 3 where Jesus was approached by Nicodemus. Jesus begins talking about the doctrine of regeneration. He says that you must be born again. But then he adds the fact that the Spirit is like the wind, which blows where it pleases. That is the idea of particular redemption and irresistible grace. The Spirit chooses who he regenerates and makes an effectual change upon their heart. Of course, Nicodemus replies, “How can these things be?” And you remember how Jesus replies. He says, “You are a teacher in Israel and you do not know these things?” He’s basically saying that any little child should know these things, why don’t you?
The point is that we should not underestimate the capabilities of a young person’s mind. We are told over and over today that children need age specific training. And the reason is because their minds have not developed fully. Therefore they cannot grasp what we would call “grown up” concepts.
While it is true that they may not grasp everything, we should not make children out to be complete imbeciles who cannot soak in big truths. Any Christian parent who has kept their children in worship regularly are always impressed that their children certainly do grasp a lot.
If anything, we should remember that they can at least hear it. It might not make complete sense to them yet, but at least they have heard it. There can be some degree of retention of at least the concept. Perhaps they cannot wrap their minds around it fully, but they’ve at least been exposed to it. That then becomes something to build upon.
And let’s be honest, the Bible is not all that complicated. When I say that children should be able to can benefit from deep theological preaching and teaching, I’m not talking about something like rocket science or calculus. I call it deep and theological, but maybe I should say that it is rich biblical teaching. Maybe that will make it sound less intimidating.
I once heard that it was written on a 6th grade level. I actually think that is a little high because most of the Bible is composed of narratives. The Bible is filled with stories that pretty much anyone can read and comprehend.
And do not forget that, if a minister is doing his job, he won’t be speaking on a level which requires a college degree. It should be simple and plain, just like the Scriptures are simple and plain.
I still say that the greatest compliment I ever received came from a mom who said, “You speak to my kindergarten brain.” It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart. She was very intelligent. It’s just that she was there with her children during the service. They were younger and she would have to tend to them and have her attention turn away from the message repeatedly. And she was always appreciative that she could tune back in and understand what was being said.
People will often ask me if we have children’s church. And I sometimes say, “Yes, we have it every Sunday.” And then I explain that the Bible and the exposition of it is for them every Sunday.
I also like what my seminary professor once said. If your preaching is boring, you are committing a great sin against God; that’s because the Bible is not boring. The Bible is dynamic. It is exciting. It almost always has a little punch to it that makes it stimulating. The only way it may be boring is if you make it boring.
But the fact remains, when you go home and are sitting around the table, you can typically probe your children and find out what they got out of the service. If they were attentive and were focused on the delivery of God’s word, you will find that they will be able to pick up much more than what the secular theorists say that they can.
And maybe I can add that this should be a challenge to the younger ones in our midst. All of what we do here is for you. Make every effort to listen and learn. Pick up as much as you can. If there is something that you do not grasp, ask your parents about it over lunch. The Scriptures encourage us to seek wisdom and prize it like gems.
And we who are their parents should be expecting that they can benefit from the ministry of God’s word.
Now, there’s one more point that I want to make on the basis of our text for today. We’ve seen that children of all ages should be incorporated into the worship service. We’ve noted that they should be expected to benefit from the ministry of the word.
I would also like us to realize, lastly, that children are a vital part of the church and have a special relationship to it.
III. Children of believers have a unique relationship to the church
Let me say that again. We should understand that the children of believers are a vital part of the church and have a special relationship to the church.
Now, I’m going to have to do some clarifying here, because we are a mixed bag on this topic. I recognize that Baptists and Presbyterians have some differing views on this point.
But before we do that, let’s just reiterate the point we’ve been working with this whole time. As Paul takes pen in hand and begins writing this letter, he has in mind the entire church in Ephesus. He may be thinking of all the different house churches that are in the city, but he has in mind all of those who are somehow affiliated with Christ’s church. And as he writes he addresses the children.
Again, the Greek word is the generic word for children, meaning all children: boys and girls, young and old. They may be held in their mother’s arms, or they may be sitting next to their father taking notes. And, no matter what their status, they are being addressed as part of the church community.
This should tell us something about the children of believers. At the very least, it should tell us that they are incredibly blessed; blessed above many other children who do not have the opportunity to be under the ministry of the Word and participating in the worship of God.
Now, this gets us into the differences between Baptists and Presbyterians, and how we view our children. And it might be helpful to lay out some of those differences.
When it comes to Baptist belief, the Baptists typically do not see their children as being members of the church. In Baptist theology children are recognized to be unbelievers who have no affiliation with church membership, at least not until they come to be converted. Once they profess faith they are allowed to be baptized and admitted into the membership of the church.
So, thus far, they recognize what children of believers are not. And the question that comes up is how are children of believers to be regarded in the Baptist framework.
Now, from what I gather, there are three basic views on how Baptists have typically viewed the children of believers. The first view is perhaps the most radical. Some Baptists take the view that their children are no different than pagan children. Thus, they have no relation to the church at all.
I am afraid that does not do justice to reality or to the biblical text. Because, as you notice here, Paul speaks to children. And obviously that implies that they are somehow related to the church. If they had no relation, Paul either would have said nothing to them or he would have said, “Children, if you do not believe in Christ, repent and be saved!” And then he may have another section dealing with children who have already been converted where he could say, “Obey your parents.”
I think you can see that Paul’s assumption is that all the children have at least some relation to the church.
Which leads me to the second way Baptists have viewed the children of believers. Sometimes Baptists have viewed children as “wards of the church.” You may have heard of orphans being called “wards of the state.” This is akin to that. The children of believers are not members of the church, but they do recognize that their children are unique. They are not like their heathen neighbor’s kids because they are brought up in the church. They have opportunity to hear the word of God and witness first hand all kinds of spiritual things. They are prayed for and hear testimonies of God’s grace in the lives of people around them.
So this view recognizes that the children of believers have a step up on their pagan counterparts. That’s because they are born into a believing family and participate in the life of the church to some degree. Therefore they are, as I said, heathen orphans who may be regarded as “wards of the church.”
Another view that is commonly held among Baptists is that the children of believers are “disciples who need to be evangelized.” They are unbelievers, so they need evangelized. But at the same time, they are the children who are being discipled in the way of God. Their parents will catechize them and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They will be taught the doctrines of the faith and be expected to follow the commands of God. So they are unbelieving disciples.
I may go so far as to say that these “disciples who need to be evangelized” are expected to convert. They are expected to one day become full fledged members of the church, but so far as they lack a profession of faith they are “disciples who need evangelized.”
Now, as a Presbyterian, I am very friendly to that idea. That’s because it is essentially our view. Presbyterians believe that the children of believers are disciples and they do need to be nurtured in the gospel all their lives.
But in the Presbyterian view, children have a very close relationship to the church because they are a distinct part of it. This is one of the main differences between the Baptists and the Presbyterians. Presbyterians believe that God’s covenant extends to believers and their children. Therefore, since children are included in the covenant community, they are members of the visible church.
We recognize that does not make them a Christian in the truest and fullest sense of that term. We recognize that they may not be a believer and have communion with Christ. That is why we do not allow them to participate in the Communion Supper. Not, at least, Until they come to a point where they profess the faith and show evidence that they are walking with the Lord.
So we have that little phrase, “non-communing member.”
But, according to the Presbyterian view, children do have a place in the church, they are part of God’s covenant family, and (as such) they have obligations to learn about the Lord and follow him. So, when Paul says, “Children, obey your parents.” in the Presbyterian view he’s simply calling them to fulfill their covenant obligations.
Now, I go through that for two reasons. On the one hand, perhaps it helps to clarify in your mind some of the different positions. But on the other hand, I belabor this point to simply offer this: Whether we are a Baptist or a Presbyterian, we should see how privileged our children are. God has given them a unique blessing; a blessing that should not be taken for granted.
God has put them in the universe of the church. You could have been born into the neighbor’s house and you may have grown up never having heard of God’s grace. You are uniquely blessed because you have been able to behold holy things, many of you from the time you were born.
And, at least for the Presbyterian children among us, God has entered into a covenant with you. He has given you the promises and allows you to call upon him and pray to him. What a wonderful blessing that should be to you!
And since you have this blessing, do you not then see the importance of responding to these specific commands he has laid down here? After coming to recognize the place the unique place you have here in our midst, should you not conclude that you have a solemn obligation to accept your role in your family and give obedience to your parents as God wants?
May it be so.