A while back we were in the book of Proverbs. And I began that message by talking about the hardest substance in the world. Do you remember that? If I asked you what the hardest substance in the world is, would you remember the answer? The hardest substance in the world is not a diamond. It is not titanium steel. It is the quarter inch of bone in your head. That is the hardest substance in the world.
Ever since the fall of Adam human relationships have been in a radical state of vulnerability. They have broken, fractured, splintered, decayed, shattered, ruptured, and collapsed, and disintegrated. We try often try to make it sound much better than it really is. We will say that our relationship evolved, or that we moved on. We may even say that we fell out of touch, as if we moved a distance apart and have legitimate reason for not maintaining the relationship. But such language is just dressing up the bankrupt nature of our hearts.
No doubt every one of us has either been the perpetrator or the victim of a friendship fall out. It is an easy thing to blacklist someone or be blacklisted.
But it is this very thing that Christ came to fix.
Throughout this letter we have been looking at the Apostle Paul’s admonitions to the wayward Corinthians. We’ve said time and again that the Apostle Paul is writing to defend the gospel. But what I want you to know is Paul has a greater purpose in writing this epistle. He set pen to paper because his relationship with the Corinthians had reached a critical level and he wanted that to be corrected.
In the passage before us this morning what we see is that Paul is reaching out to his beloved flock because he wanted nothing to come between them. Over and over he’s preached the gospel to them. He’s said, “Be ye reconciled to God.” And now in this passage he extends that out—he puts real-time flesh on it by seeking to have his relationship with them restored.
And this passage becomes for us a reminder that we as Christians must see broken relationships as enemy number one. Our duty—our calling- is to reverse Adam’s fall. It is not that we can prevent relationships from breaking. That’s going to happen. But what I’m talking about here is that when a relationship does splinter, it is our job to pick up the pieces and try and put it back together.
So this morning I want us to think about true, Christian, reconciliation.
And I want to being by simply talking about the pursuit of it.
I. The pursuit of reconciliation.
This passage should strike you as a little odd. Paul’s language here is supremely intimate. He shows a real passion—some of which will be explored in our message. But one thing that really stands out is that he will not leave these Corinthians alone. It is not enough for him to vindicate his name and defend his ministry. He goes far beyond that. What he really wants is their hearts. He wants their friendship. He wants to clear away all that keeps them from being in fellowship with one another. Particularly odd because he might not ever see them again. And even more unusual because he really had every reason to blow them off!
Think about it. The Corinthians were a bunch of bozos. They were not only a problematic congregation, but they were very much hostile to Paul. Paul really had every reason to walk away from them. But he doesn’t.
And, as I mentioned, it is not enough for him to simply defend his credentials. While he has this radical zeal to maintain the legitimacy of the gospel and wants nothing more than to promote the truth of Christ, he isn’t satisfied with merely that. He doesn’t just want them to turn away from their sins and the false teachers and believe and hold fast to God. He wants nothing less than full reconciliation.
Now, we must recognize that what Paul is doing here is nothing less than what Jesus commanded. Remember that Jesus, in His sermon on the mount, demanded just this very thing—that we adamantly pursue reconciliation with those with whom we’ve been separated. Remember he said that if we are coming to worship and remember that there is a brother who has something against us, what are we do to? We are to drop our offering right there and go to that brother. We are to get things right. That reconciliation has a greater priority than worship itself.
Then you may remember that he went on to use the illustration of going to court. He said that we are to settle matters quickly, before we get to the court. It was to emphasize that we shouldn’t put it off, but should act quickly to repent and resolve our differences.
This is essentially what we see here in 2 Cor. 7. Paul is pursuing the restoration of the relationship and as he reminds us that this is to be what we do in our daily lives as well.
I remember a time when I was a youth counselor at a youth retreat. There were some girls there who were unbelievers. But because they were friends with some of the Christian kids they were invited to come on this weekend retreat. And as can happen, over the course of the weekend these girls got offended by something that happened. I don’t know exactly what transpired, but somebody did something to irk them (or perhaps they irked someone else—again, I’m not sure what happened).
But on the last night of the retreat they had something of an open mic time where anyone could come forward and talk about what God did in their lives that weekend. You could talk about what you learned or were challenged to do. And one of these girls got up and said in front of the mass group, “You Christians are weird. You haven’t left us alone all weekend. You even come to us and say you’re sorry. That’s really awkward. We’d just prefer that you ignore us.”
That moment always impressed me. It really showed the world of difference between us and the rest of the world. We don’t just ignore our problems and let broken fellowships die. We don’t just ignore problems and walk away from people. It is our natural desire, but that’s not the way of Christ.
Now we recognize that this isn’t always going to turn out with a happy ending. Yes, we are to pursue these relationships, but we recognize that sometimes reconciliation isn’t possible. Some people don’t want to reconcile. That’s why scripture says that we do our best to live at peace with one another. We do our best to live at peace, but peace and reconciliation isn’t always attainable. And sometimes we have to simply let dead dogs lie, as they say. Sometimes we can only pursue it so far.
The principle we should live by is pursue it until the Lord shows that the door is closed and you cannot go any further.
So the question then becomes, is there any relationship that you need to pursue? Are you seeking to rectify things or have you given up on them? It might be that you are not the one in the wrong. That’s certainly the case here. Paul wasn’t in the wrong. But he sought to do his part in mending the relationship.
What we see is really Paul emulating the gospel. Perhaps you remember earlier in this series, when we talked about the passage that said, “Be ye reconciled to God.” I pointed out that prhase back in Chapter 5 which said, “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself.” I made the point that God was the initiator. God was the offended party, but he didn’t simply cross his arms and wait for them to come to their senses. Instead he sought us. He pursued us. He was the prime agent in rectifying the relationship despite not having done anything wrong hmself.
Paul’s emulating that here. And it is a good reminder to us that we must, in so far as we can, do the same.
Where we can, and in so far as it depends on us, we must pursue reconciliation. And how do we do that? I’m glad you asked. Now that we understand our responsibility to pursue it, we can talk about the pathway to it.
II. The pathway to reconciliation
As you look at this passage, what I want you to see the course of action that Paul takes. He shows us two things that we need to do in order to achieve reconciliation.
The pathway to reconciliation begins with the heart’s disposition. Look at verse 2. This verse, you should recognize, is translated differently in the various English translations. If you have the KJV it will say, “Receive us.” If you have the NKJV or the NIV it will say, “Open your hearts to us.” The ESV says, “Make room in your hearts for us.”
The word heart is not there in the original language, but the concept certainly is. That’s why some of our English versions add it. The word in the Greek means “to make room” or “clear space for.” He wasn’t asking that they clear out an apartment or guest bedroom. What he wants is that their hearts be in a disposition where they would receive and welcome him.
They needed to make room in their hearts for him. They needed to clear out the clutter so that he would fit in.
You see, this is why Paul could even pursue the relationship in the first place. It is because the Corinthians had a place in his heart. Look at what he says in verse 3. He says, “You are in our hearts, to die together and to live together.” That language of living and dying is a little awkward, but you get the sense that Paul loves them passionately. But the point is these Corinthians already had a little spot in his heart and there was nothing that was going to push them out of there.
And this is the point where all relationships must begin. Reconciliation beings by clearing out a place of the other person in your heart.
Of course, if they are going to fit in your heart, that likely means that something needs to be removed. You may need to make some space by getting your own heart right.
You see that’s kind of what Paul does with these Corinthians. In verse 2 he says, “Make room in your hearts for us. We’ve wronged no one, we’ve corrupted no one, we’ve not taken advantage of anyone.” The Corinthians had had a wrong perception of Paul. Evidently there had been some rumors and slanderous things said about him and those things had come to fill their hearts.
Let’s make sure we understand this: Gossip is a terrible thing. It is a deadly serum for relationships. Spreading a false report does nothing but destroy relationships. And we must make sure that false conceptions of another person are not what is preventing us from being friends and enjoying fellowship.
But there may be some other things in the way. It could be your own ego that is in the way. Your pride takes up so much space that no one else can fit in your heart. Sometimes you just need to deflate your ego or “swallow your pride” in order to make reconciliation possible. It could be other things—like resentment, bitterness, jealousy, envy.
The point is that reconciliation is not merely a social issue. It is a heart issue. What Paul is driving at here is that we have to do more than just be able to stand in the same room together. True peace is not just being able to have a cordial conversation or acting civilly around each other. The relationship that God really wants does not consist in merely tolerating one another.
Reconciliation has not truly occurred until you hold one another in the heart and real heart-felt affection that exists between you.
Too often we think that if there is no fighting, then that’s gold. We’ll sometimes even rate the relationship on whether or not we can maintain a smile while around them. But all that is just a façade. That’s not what God wants. He wants us to truly be united.
Again, you might not be able to achieve that. You can’t make yourself fit in someone else’s heart. You can’t clear the room in their heart. But you can take responsibility for your own heart.
The pathway to reconciliation begins with you making room in your heart for the other person. But I also want you to see that it also necessitates a magnanimous attitude.
Be magnanimous.
Being magnanimous means being generous and forgiving, especially when it comes to someone who is less powerful than you. That’s really what you see the Apostle Paul doing here. Look at verses 3 and following. What you find in those verses is something of a gushing flow of love from Paul. Some have even said that it is the most passionate expression of affection in all the NT.
He begins by saying, “I do not say this to condemn you.” I want you to notice how gracious Paul is here. If there is anything that the Corinthians deserved it was a good condemnation. But Paul takes the high road here. He assures them that he’s not going to let their foolery deter him or get in the way of his being reconciled to them.
The passage goes on—again, it is something of a gush of affection. He says he has them in his heart, he takes pride in them, he boasts of them. He is comforted by them. He is overflowing with joy.
What is Paul doing here? We might say that he’s just being the bigger man in all of these. He’s being extremely generous to talk about the good things about them and overlook their faults. It is a real embodiment of a magnanimous attitude.
Remember what Paul says to the Ephesians. Be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving, even as God in Christ forgave you. If you want a substitute for being magnanimous, it is that. Be ye kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving, even as God in Christ forgave you.
But, it really comes back to whether or not the person is in your heart. It is out of the heart that the mouth speaks. And if they are taking up space in your heart, then you’re going to have this kind of attitude. If they don’t have a place there, if there isn’t any space for them, what do you think is going to come out of your mouth? A lot of other junk is going to be thrown at them.
So remember what Paul says here. Remember that the real pathway to reconciliation is magnanimous attitude that flows out of a heart that has plenty of space for the other person.
III. The prospects for reconciliation
The last thing I want you to note from this passage is the optimism we should have when it comes to restored relationships.
We can be pretty negative people. Even if you do not fully embrace the T in total depravity, you’ll recognize that our nature tends towards pessimism. We don’t usually put a lot of hope in reconciliation. And maybe that’s why we don’t pursue it or see a lot of it in our lives.
But one thing that you get from Paul is that he is very optimistic. He notes the prospects in verses 8 and following. He begins by talking about how the letter he wrote caused the Corinthians a bit of grief. But it wasn’t just a sadness or sorrow, but it was a sorrow that led to repentance. They ended up changing their attitudes.
This is evidently referring back to the fellow who was living immorally. The Corinthians had once bragged about it and thought it was funny. But after Paul’s admonition, they sobered up and did the right thing. They excommunicated the fellow for his sins. And Paul is delighted about that. He rejoices in their turn around.
And that boosts his confidence that things can be made right with them.
Then you’ll notice the chapter ends with his talking about Titus and how Titus was received by them. Part of Paul’s comfort is that they gushed over Titus. Of course, Titus was an agent of Paul. So their reception of Titus, was akin to their having received Paul himself. And this delights Paul to no end.
So what do you see Paul doing? He’s focusing on the Trajectory. The Corinthians have made some headway in the gospel. They are showing a good deal of spirituality and sanctification. And that gives Paul great hope that the problems that exist between them can be fixed as well.
All this is to say, we should never discount the gospel. Jesus Christ is in the business of resurrections. He has come to make all things new. And the slightest glimmer of grace should give us high hopes. And when it comes to our relationships—especially those that may exist between brothers in Christ—we should bank on the evidences of God’s working.
The gospel is good news. God has a way of turning things on their heads. And so we should never discount the power of the Spirit. Or, as they often say, we should not despise the day of small things.
No doubt every one of us has either been the perpetrator or the victim of a friendship fall out. It is an easy thing to blacklist someone or be blacklisted.
But it is this very thing that Christ came to fix.
Throughout this letter we have been looking at the Apostle Paul’s admonitions to the wayward Corinthians. We’ve said time and again that the Apostle Paul is writing to defend the gospel. But what I want you to know is Paul has a greater purpose in writing this epistle. He set pen to paper because his relationship with the Corinthians had reached a critical level and he wanted that to be corrected.
In the passage before us this morning what we see is that Paul is reaching out to his beloved flock because he wanted nothing to come between them. Over and over he’s preached the gospel to them. He’s said, “Be ye reconciled to God.” And now in this passage he extends that out—he puts real-time flesh on it by seeking to have his relationship with them restored.
And this passage becomes for us a reminder that we as Christians must see broken relationships as enemy number one. Our duty—our calling- is to reverse Adam’s fall. It is not that we can prevent relationships from breaking. That’s going to happen. But what I’m talking about here is that when a relationship does splinter, it is our job to pick up the pieces and try and put it back together.
So this morning I want us to think about true, Christian, reconciliation.
And I want to being by simply talking about the pursuit of it.
I. The pursuit of reconciliation.
This passage should strike you as a little odd. Paul’s language here is supremely intimate. He shows a real passion—some of which will be explored in our message. But one thing that really stands out is that he will not leave these Corinthians alone. It is not enough for him to vindicate his name and defend his ministry. He goes far beyond that. What he really wants is their hearts. He wants their friendship. He wants to clear away all that keeps them from being in fellowship with one another. Particularly odd because he might not ever see them again. And even more unusual because he really had every reason to blow them off!
Think about it. The Corinthians were a bunch of bozos. They were not only a problematic congregation, but they were very much hostile to Paul. Paul really had every reason to walk away from them. But he doesn’t.
And, as I mentioned, it is not enough for him to simply defend his credentials. While he has this radical zeal to maintain the legitimacy of the gospel and wants nothing more than to promote the truth of Christ, he isn’t satisfied with merely that. He doesn’t just want them to turn away from their sins and the false teachers and believe and hold fast to God. He wants nothing less than full reconciliation.
Now, we must recognize that what Paul is doing here is nothing less than what Jesus commanded. Remember that Jesus, in His sermon on the mount, demanded just this very thing—that we adamantly pursue reconciliation with those with whom we’ve been separated. Remember he said that if we are coming to worship and remember that there is a brother who has something against us, what are we do to? We are to drop our offering right there and go to that brother. We are to get things right. That reconciliation has a greater priority than worship itself.
Then you may remember that he went on to use the illustration of going to court. He said that we are to settle matters quickly, before we get to the court. It was to emphasize that we shouldn’t put it off, but should act quickly to repent and resolve our differences.
This is essentially what we see here in 2 Cor. 7. Paul is pursuing the restoration of the relationship and as he reminds us that this is to be what we do in our daily lives as well.
I remember a time when I was a youth counselor at a youth retreat. There were some girls there who were unbelievers. But because they were friends with some of the Christian kids they were invited to come on this weekend retreat. And as can happen, over the course of the weekend these girls got offended by something that happened. I don’t know exactly what transpired, but somebody did something to irk them (or perhaps they irked someone else—again, I’m not sure what happened).
But on the last night of the retreat they had something of an open mic time where anyone could come forward and talk about what God did in their lives that weekend. You could talk about what you learned or were challenged to do. And one of these girls got up and said in front of the mass group, “You Christians are weird. You haven’t left us alone all weekend. You even come to us and say you’re sorry. That’s really awkward. We’d just prefer that you ignore us.”
That moment always impressed me. It really showed the world of difference between us and the rest of the world. We don’t just ignore our problems and let broken fellowships die. We don’t just ignore problems and walk away from people. It is our natural desire, but that’s not the way of Christ.
Now we recognize that this isn’t always going to turn out with a happy ending. Yes, we are to pursue these relationships, but we recognize that sometimes reconciliation isn’t possible. Some people don’t want to reconcile. That’s why scripture says that we do our best to live at peace with one another. We do our best to live at peace, but peace and reconciliation isn’t always attainable. And sometimes we have to simply let dead dogs lie, as they say. Sometimes we can only pursue it so far.
The principle we should live by is pursue it until the Lord shows that the door is closed and you cannot go any further.
So the question then becomes, is there any relationship that you need to pursue? Are you seeking to rectify things or have you given up on them? It might be that you are not the one in the wrong. That’s certainly the case here. Paul wasn’t in the wrong. But he sought to do his part in mending the relationship.
What we see is really Paul emulating the gospel. Perhaps you remember earlier in this series, when we talked about the passage that said, “Be ye reconciled to God.” I pointed out that prhase back in Chapter 5 which said, “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself.” I made the point that God was the initiator. God was the offended party, but he didn’t simply cross his arms and wait for them to come to their senses. Instead he sought us. He pursued us. He was the prime agent in rectifying the relationship despite not having done anything wrong hmself.
Paul’s emulating that here. And it is a good reminder to us that we must, in so far as we can, do the same.
Where we can, and in so far as it depends on us, we must pursue reconciliation. And how do we do that? I’m glad you asked. Now that we understand our responsibility to pursue it, we can talk about the pathway to it.
II. The pathway to reconciliation
As you look at this passage, what I want you to see the course of action that Paul takes. He shows us two things that we need to do in order to achieve reconciliation.
The pathway to reconciliation begins with the heart’s disposition. Look at verse 2. This verse, you should recognize, is translated differently in the various English translations. If you have the KJV it will say, “Receive us.” If you have the NKJV or the NIV it will say, “Open your hearts to us.” The ESV says, “Make room in your hearts for us.”
The word heart is not there in the original language, but the concept certainly is. That’s why some of our English versions add it. The word in the Greek means “to make room” or “clear space for.” He wasn’t asking that they clear out an apartment or guest bedroom. What he wants is that their hearts be in a disposition where they would receive and welcome him.
They needed to make room in their hearts for him. They needed to clear out the clutter so that he would fit in.
You see, this is why Paul could even pursue the relationship in the first place. It is because the Corinthians had a place in his heart. Look at what he says in verse 3. He says, “You are in our hearts, to die together and to live together.” That language of living and dying is a little awkward, but you get the sense that Paul loves them passionately. But the point is these Corinthians already had a little spot in his heart and there was nothing that was going to push them out of there.
And this is the point where all relationships must begin. Reconciliation beings by clearing out a place of the other person in your heart.
Of course, if they are going to fit in your heart, that likely means that something needs to be removed. You may need to make some space by getting your own heart right.
You see that’s kind of what Paul does with these Corinthians. In verse 2 he says, “Make room in your hearts for us. We’ve wronged no one, we’ve corrupted no one, we’ve not taken advantage of anyone.” The Corinthians had had a wrong perception of Paul. Evidently there had been some rumors and slanderous things said about him and those things had come to fill their hearts.
Let’s make sure we understand this: Gossip is a terrible thing. It is a deadly serum for relationships. Spreading a false report does nothing but destroy relationships. And we must make sure that false conceptions of another person are not what is preventing us from being friends and enjoying fellowship.
But there may be some other things in the way. It could be your own ego that is in the way. Your pride takes up so much space that no one else can fit in your heart. Sometimes you just need to deflate your ego or “swallow your pride” in order to make reconciliation possible. It could be other things—like resentment, bitterness, jealousy, envy.
The point is that reconciliation is not merely a social issue. It is a heart issue. What Paul is driving at here is that we have to do more than just be able to stand in the same room together. True peace is not just being able to have a cordial conversation or acting civilly around each other. The relationship that God really wants does not consist in merely tolerating one another.
Reconciliation has not truly occurred until you hold one another in the heart and real heart-felt affection that exists between you.
Too often we think that if there is no fighting, then that’s gold. We’ll sometimes even rate the relationship on whether or not we can maintain a smile while around them. But all that is just a façade. That’s not what God wants. He wants us to truly be united.
Again, you might not be able to achieve that. You can’t make yourself fit in someone else’s heart. You can’t clear the room in their heart. But you can take responsibility for your own heart.
The pathway to reconciliation begins with you making room in your heart for the other person. But I also want you to see that it also necessitates a magnanimous attitude.
Be magnanimous.
Being magnanimous means being generous and forgiving, especially when it comes to someone who is less powerful than you. That’s really what you see the Apostle Paul doing here. Look at verses 3 and following. What you find in those verses is something of a gushing flow of love from Paul. Some have even said that it is the most passionate expression of affection in all the NT.
He begins by saying, “I do not say this to condemn you.” I want you to notice how gracious Paul is here. If there is anything that the Corinthians deserved it was a good condemnation. But Paul takes the high road here. He assures them that he’s not going to let their foolery deter him or get in the way of his being reconciled to them.
The passage goes on—again, it is something of a gush of affection. He says he has them in his heart, he takes pride in them, he boasts of them. He is comforted by them. He is overflowing with joy.
What is Paul doing here? We might say that he’s just being the bigger man in all of these. He’s being extremely generous to talk about the good things about them and overlook their faults. It is a real embodiment of a magnanimous attitude.
Remember what Paul says to the Ephesians. Be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving, even as God in Christ forgave you. If you want a substitute for being magnanimous, it is that. Be ye kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving, even as God in Christ forgave you.
But, it really comes back to whether or not the person is in your heart. It is out of the heart that the mouth speaks. And if they are taking up space in your heart, then you’re going to have this kind of attitude. If they don’t have a place there, if there isn’t any space for them, what do you think is going to come out of your mouth? A lot of other junk is going to be thrown at them.
So remember what Paul says here. Remember that the real pathway to reconciliation is magnanimous attitude that flows out of a heart that has plenty of space for the other person.
III. The prospects for reconciliation
The last thing I want you to note from this passage is the optimism we should have when it comes to restored relationships.
We can be pretty negative people. Even if you do not fully embrace the T in total depravity, you’ll recognize that our nature tends towards pessimism. We don’t usually put a lot of hope in reconciliation. And maybe that’s why we don’t pursue it or see a lot of it in our lives.
But one thing that you get from Paul is that he is very optimistic. He notes the prospects in verses 8 and following. He begins by talking about how the letter he wrote caused the Corinthians a bit of grief. But it wasn’t just a sadness or sorrow, but it was a sorrow that led to repentance. They ended up changing their attitudes.
This is evidently referring back to the fellow who was living immorally. The Corinthians had once bragged about it and thought it was funny. But after Paul’s admonition, they sobered up and did the right thing. They excommunicated the fellow for his sins. And Paul is delighted about that. He rejoices in their turn around.
And that boosts his confidence that things can be made right with them.
Then you’ll notice the chapter ends with his talking about Titus and how Titus was received by them. Part of Paul’s comfort is that they gushed over Titus. Of course, Titus was an agent of Paul. So their reception of Titus, was akin to their having received Paul himself. And this delights Paul to no end.
So what do you see Paul doing? He’s focusing on the Trajectory. The Corinthians have made some headway in the gospel. They are showing a good deal of spirituality and sanctification. And that gives Paul great hope that the problems that exist between them can be fixed as well.
All this is to say, we should never discount the gospel. Jesus Christ is in the business of resurrections. He has come to make all things new. And the slightest glimmer of grace should give us high hopes. And when it comes to our relationships—especially those that may exist between brothers in Christ—we should bank on the evidences of God’s working.
The gospel is good news. God has a way of turning things on their heads. And so we should never discount the power of the Spirit. Or, as they often say, we should not despise the day of small things.