Oh What a Fellowship!
We want to invite you and your family to join us at the Lillo Pad for our annual campout June 7-9.  There will be swimming, games, fellowship, food, and much, much more.  Invite your friends, pitch your tents, and have a great time.  

​Many of us have had that universal, public embarrassment.  If it didn't hurt and if the laughs/snickers didn't shame us to no end, we'd think it was funny too.

For me, it always seems to be lawn chairs (yes, it's happened repeatedly).  Over the course of a summer the metal frame  becomes more and more malleable.  Plopping down in the seat eventually takes its toll and the aluminum bends just a touch more with each sitting.  

At some point it can take no more.  Usually, at the most inconvenient time, it breaks... and down I go, sprawling to ground.

The whole fiasco is due to one thing: the unreliability of the lawn chair.  Because the chair is flimsy and suffers mutation, it will let you down (literally!).

Herein lies the great comfort that the God of Scripture affords.  Scripture repeatedly mentions the fact that our God does not change.  Unlike lawn chairs, we can fully trust in him because he will always be the same.

James tells us that we can trust God to fill our needs.  He says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." Ja 1:17

The Book of Hebrews tells us that we can persevere through adversity because, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Heb. 13.8  That is to say, Jesus has helped his people in the past and will continue to be their aid in the present.  All in all, it is a promise that he will never leave us nor forsake us.

The prophet Malachi reminds us that, because of God's unchanging nature, we can trust that the Lord will save us in the day of judgment.  "For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed." Mal. 3.6

It may be rightly said that God is the only true being, everything else in this world (including ourselves) is a "becoming."  We are constantly seeing change, in our environment, our relationships, in our attitudes, and in our very physic.  

We have a right to be wary of all these things.  But not so with God.  God is the constant.  He cannot improve or be diminished in any way.  For, "from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God." Ps. 90:2.

We can truly say that he is worthy of praise because there is none like our God.  There is no god like our God.  Jehovah proves himself worthy of our worship and trust as the only one who is faithful and true.

​

Grow in the Faith!
Feeling spiritually stagnant?  Looking for a fresh challenge or way to grow in your faith?  Talk to us about being part of a Bible study!  We're always happy to get into the Scriptures or organize a discipleship group.

Prince Charming and Snow White may have looked like they had a perfect marriage ahead of them, but let's be real.  The next day Snow found that the toothpaste tube had been squeezed wrong and the toilet seat had been left up.  Prince found nylon stockings hanging on his towel and...well, let's just say that the Dwarf's had exaggerated Snow's ability to cook.

Does this put "happily ever after" in jeopardy?  Not at all.  All couples have problems. Many couples have LOTS of problems.  But they can still have a wonderful life together if they commit to dealing with their problems God's way.

Some of the best marriage advice comes from Paul's admonition to not let the sun go down on your anger.  Husbands and wives will find that their joy increases when they commit to resolving their problems and not carrying them to bed each night.

Imagine the scenario again: Prince finds the stockings dangling over his towel yet again!  He's irked by how inconsiderate his wife is.  But instead of calmly talking to her about it, he huffs off to put his PJ's on.  He throws a pillow over his head and makes his best attempt to sleep on it.  In the morning he "hi-ho's" off to work, being happy to be away.

What Prince has done is allow the sin of resentment to build a small, invisible wall between himself and the new Mrs. Charming.  Each night this happens, more bricks are added to the wall and more damage is done to the relationship.  

[Let's remember Mrs. Charming could be reacting to his resentment in a not-so-good manner too.  She may get huffy with his grumpy attitude and becoming embittered herself!  Needless to say, happily ever after could be in serious danger as the relationship spirals further downward!]

Is the marriage doomed?  Are the Dwarfs going to have to have Snow move back in with them?  Not if the couple begins to look to the Lord's way. 

Remember that no wall ever has to be built in the first place.  Instead of internalizing his anger and letting the sun go down on it, Prince can focus that anger on the problem at hand.  He can go to his wife and tenderly speak with her about his annoyance.  Perhaps he can even build a special rack for her stockings, so she can hang them in the laundry room.

Even if a wall has been built up over many years and multiple layers of angst exist, the marriage can be restored.  Scripture says, "Repent therefore, that times of refreshing may come."  God is able to bring times of refreshing to the marriage and restore happily ever after.

God's refreshing grace will only come through repentance though, and each of the bricks that have been laid has to be removed.  

Key to this demolition process is personal responsibility.  That is to say, each person take care of his own bricks first.  Prince may want the "inconsiderate stocking bricks" to be removed, but he must first deal with his own contributions to the wall.  Prince needs to humble himself and acknowledge that his lack of godly communication has contributed significantly to the family's troubles.  

Thus, the first step to happily ever after would be to do something like this:

"Snow, Things have been difficult as of late, and I recognize a lot of it is my fault.  I haven't been open with you or forthright about things on my mind.  I want to to ask your forgiveness for that.  I think our relationship would be better if I were better at communicating. Being that I have a hard time expressing my feelings, can you be in prayer for me? I really need God's help in this regard."

It may be good to leave it at that for the time being.  That's because it's not about them at this moment.  It is about you and your sin.  Maybe the next day, you can come back with, "I am going to try the communication thing.  This is hard for me, you'll recognize.  But one of the things I have trouble with is..."

Just like that two bricks have just been removed.  The wall is beginning to crumble and the lovely couple is back on track to experiencing their happily ever after.

I once bought the extra cheap knock off brand of paper towels from the extra-cheap grocery store chain.  One spill proved that was a mistake.  It may have looked the same as the name brand, but it was a far cry from being the real deal.

Scripture tells us that when we awaken in glory there will be a similar sensation.  The highest pleasures of this world will feel like cheap knock offs in comparison to the true heavenly realities that will greet us in that coming land.

When we open our eyes, not only will the bitterness of death be gone, but a radical, new thrill will beam through our souls.  The sensations will be familiar, but their quality will be intensified and magnified a thousand times over.

________________________________________

For now we see through a glass, darkly...
now I know in part;
but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1 Corinthians 13:12
________________________________________

That's what Paul is communicating in the above mentioned verse.  In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul was talking about love and the eternal world.  He says we 'know' what the future world will hold, but 'only in part.' We've experienced some of those blessings in this life, but it was only a corrupted fraction of the true and full realities that will meet us in glory.

This is what seeing through a glass darkly means.  The mirrors of the ancient world did not render the pristine reflections that we have today.  At best, the mirror was a piece of polished brass.  It would be like seeing if you were having a good hair day by looking at your reflection in the hood of your car.

Take a gander at the following list.  You've enjoyed the blessing of each, right?

​

​Traveling I-376 into the city of Pittsburg gives you a glimpse into the radical experience that we Christians will have immediately upon death.

Those coming into the city's West End must pass through the famous Fort Pitt Tunnel which burrows straight through the towering Mt. Washington.  As you follow the flow of traffic into the tunnel darkness slowly begins to encase you.  The light of day fades as you descend deeper into the cavern.  

About a mile out in front of you sits a small sheet of white light which is the mouth of the tunnel.  The closer you get, the larger and more brilliantly bright it appears to get.

Once you reach it the darkness is immediately rolled back. There before you stands the city's dazzling skyline.  The skyscrapers welcome you as the sun's radiant luster pierces your eyes.

To be sure, the city of Pittsburg cannot compare to the infinite wonders of heaven.  But the parallel certainly is there.  Our eyes will one day darken.  This life will fade into oblivion.  We will breathe our last.  But that will not be the end. 

Immediately, a whole new world will greet us.  A whole new existence will take possession of us.  In that next moment we will instantaneously be stunned by a radically new life, the sensation of which being wholly unimaginable.   

On the cross, Jesus lifted the thoughts of the poor wretch dying beside him to that world.  Christ consoled his penitence and his earthly suffering with the promise of immortal bliss in the heavenly dimension.  That very day he would be with Jesus in Paradise. 

Because he had trusted in Christ he was given the full assurance that, though his present existence would end, he would not die.  He would be translated into that higher more glorious realm and partake of its infinite riches.

Over the course of the next several weeks, we will try, as best we can, to contemplate that world.  Better yet, we'll try to grasp that moment--that moment of moments--that radical, life changing moment which will overwhelm us immediately after our demise.

We will ask ourselves: What will it be like?  What will we experience when our eyes open on the other side?  Though we will only be able to see through a glass darkly, we will attempt to gain insight into this supernal joy that will be revealed.

Here we simply note it's reality.  The promise to every true believer is that upon death he will immediately precede into the fuller experience of his eternal life.  Jesus affirms to everyone who dies in Him: "Today you will be with me in Paradise."

Mark those words "fuller experience of your eternal life."  Those who trust in Christ do not wait for eternal life.  We wait for the fuller realization of it. 

We know that at death this life will give way to something much more grandiose.  But anyone who is in Christ possess eternal life now.  Though we do not have the full experience of it, we do have full possession of it.  Jesus said of his followers,
 
"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish."
John 10:28

This reality is ours.  It is currently ours.  And the fuller experience, which is to come, is ours to savor now. 

You may even say this:  Scripture has not just given us a future hope, but it teases us with it.  It gives us little clues and bits of information here and there.  The whole of it has not made known, but enough has revealed to whet our appetites and make us crave it.   

And over the next few weeks we'll meditate on these clues and begin to let our minds be drawn upward.

We invite you along in this study.  We invite you to learn about the vast riches to be revealed.  It is our hope that your soul will dabble in the wonders that await us.  As we deal with this world's woes, we hope your burdens will be made light by the surpassing glory which is to come.

I take that back, I have one last thought on parenting...or any kind of life with God for that matter.  It is this:
 
You are going to be terrible at it,and that's not altogether a bad thing.
​
This lesson is so important.  It reminds us that God is God and we are not. 

Obviously, we are to strive to do our best and serve the Lord with faithfulness.  We know we must be as diligent as possible.  But let's take a moment and glory in the fact that...

• It is the Lord "who builds the house." 
• It is "Christ who builds his kingdom" with the gates of Hell not being able to prevail because of HIS power. 
• Salvation is "not of works;" not even our best parenting works.  Rather, salvation is "of the Lord" and "all of grace" so that "no one may boast."

​_______________________________________

Folly is bound up
in the heart of
A PARENT,
but
GOD IS GRACIOUS
nevertheless.
________________________________________

Too often I have heard parents lament the fact that they 1) have not done enough and 2) they have not done it right.  But let's throw up our hands together and praise God that He alone is Sovereign and can work above and beyond anything we do, don't do, or do completely wrong.

Let's admit that "folly is bound up in our own hearts" just as much as it is bound up in our child's.  We can be honest and admit (and even glory in) the fact that we are inept vessels in the hands of a great God.

The Apostle Paul had kids (spiritual ones) and he expressed the same sentiment.  He confessed his weakness openly and reveled in the fact that God's "grace was sufficient" and that His "power is made perfect in weakness."

Take this to heart when your children fail too.  You may pour yourself into them and hone every single possible parenting principle down to the tee.  Despite your best efforts, they will still fight, hold secrets from you, make their own decisions, etc.  God is good that way.

These are God's ways of telling us that it isn't about us.  It is His way of humbling us and highlighting our utter dependence upon His supreme authority.

Think about it this way: God was pleased to commit the church into the hands of a bunch of fishermen (I always like to remind people that they were more like fisherboys, because they were likely in their teens and early 20's when Pentecost rolled around).

When it came to the ministry, even the Apostle Paul confessed, "Who is sufficient for these things?"  That continues to be the motto of every elder and minister who takes leadership in the church today.

God's own Son even embodied that principle.  He had no beauty that we should behold Him.  He had no majesty that should attract us to Him.  His birth was ignoble.  His heritage and ministry was humble.  Most of all, he was defeated!  He was crucified in weakness.  

God delights to use the weak things of the world.  The foolishness of men is His instrument of victory.

It doesn't matter if it is patriarchs, pastors, or parents. God loves using bumbling sinners.  His chosen tools are those who are  severely limited by their ignorance, sin, and ineptitude.

So as you face the frustrations - be it in yourself or in your children - take a moment to revel in it, rather than lament it.  God is God, and we are not.  God has brought you to the very edge of parenting that you may view in all its splendor the grace, grandeur, and greatness of God.

There's much to be said about applying the rod of discipline.  Unfortunately, this series of articles will not touch on many of the beneficial topics in this realm of parenting, such as certain cautions, consistency, and particular "how to's" of discipline. 

We simply wish to end this series by saying that discipline is just that: discipline.  It is not punishment, per se.

Admittedly, we use those words interchangeably, but there is a technical difference.  Punishment has primarily a negative connotation.  It has to do with payback and judgment.  The Hebrew word "pakad" (to punish) denotes suffering that is issued forth out of anger and comes upon those who are God's hated enemies.

​Discipline is much more positive in its force.  Well, of course, the paddle may have a 'negative force,' but the idea of discipline is that of discipleship.  As a matter of fact, the Hebrew word in the above proverb (musar) can also mean "correction" or "instruction."  It may very well be called the 'rod of correction' or 'rod of instruction.'

Maybe this is why my parents would often call it 'the board of education'?

The rod, we should understand, is for the purpose of training and looks towards future maturity.  It's applied with the hope for improvement and comes forth as a merciful gesture, one which wishes to prevent greater pain/evil down the road. 

Punishment, by contrast is vindictive.  Punishment could care less about you or your future welfare.  It is simply raw justice.

​Discipline, on the other hand, may involve punitive measures, but it is not meant to drive one away or create alienation.  It's ultimate purpose is much more relational.  The person's foolishness is driven away, but not the person himself.  

In a word, punishment has to do with retribution and fear while discipline has to do with redemption and grace. 

In the gospel, Jesus was punished for our sins.  This is why we need not fear God's condemnation.  Now that we are God's children, we enjoy the loving discipline (correction) of our heavenly Father.  We even welcome it as it does have our best interest in mind.

Our children might not go that far.  They may not welcome the rod, but at least we can view it in its proper light.  It is merely an extension of our discipleship ministry among our children.

Understanding the rod in this way will bear practical fruit for parenting.  If we truly grasp it, a lot of the "how to" and "when to" questions will be largely answered. 

Most of all, we will see corporal discipline as a fruitful thing.  It will not just be that which we inflict upon our children, it will a tool for helping us develop our children.  And, to be sure, it can help develop our relationship with our children.

​We've acknowledged previously that the rod is one of the means God has instituted for correction, self-discipline, and growth in knowledge.  The Scripture tells us that it is the tool that the Lord uses to "drive foolishness far from" our children.

To that end we should apply it with good prudence when our children act out.  The Scripture above is clear on how effective it is.  As a matter of fact, the early American proverb is verification of how much educators believed in it:
 
"Reading, writing, and arithmetic, all taught to the tune of a hickory stick."

But it must be kept in mind that corporal punishment is not a vindictive action or even purely punitive in its function.  It is an act of love.

_______________________________________

Folly is bound up
in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline
drives it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15 ESV
________________________________________

​To that end, spanking a child reflects God's discipline of us.  This Scripture must be heard as an echo of the passage that preceded it.  Proverbs 3:11 tells us that the "Lord disciplines those whom He loves."  We are exhorted not to despise God's chastisement because it is a sign of His deepest interest in us.

This is part of the reason the world around us seeks so avidly to dissuade us from the use of the rod.  They despise it because there is no belief in God, or at least no belief in a God who induces any kind of personal suffering.  The god of most Americans is only supposed to relieve suffering.  Certainly a 'loving God' would not inflict suffering, would he?  That's at least the opinion of our culture.

But true Christians understand that the Lord brings us into obedience through suffering.  We know that even Jesus himself, though sinless, "learned obedience through suffering." (Heb. 5:7). 

To this end, Christians have an alternative view of human pain and sorrow.  Our momentary afflictions are being used by God to develop everlasting virtue.  Our heavenly Father lovingly uses Providence as a way to develop our faith and life.

When we spank our children, we understand that the rod's momentary affliction is reflective of God's own principle of love.  Far from being an outgrowth of our anger, it is an indication of how much we care and have the child's best interests in mind.

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We will talk about the role of the rod, but not yet.  There's something more fundamental that must be kept in mind.

To be sure, corporal discipline is a God ordained means of building character, self-discipline, and wisdom.  But it must be understood that it is merely ONE of the means God has appointed.  It is a powerful tool, but it is a tool that is secondary.  It must be accompanied by liberal use of God's main tool: His Word.

 ​_______________________________________

Folly is bound up
in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline
drives it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15 ESV
________________________________________ 

​
Note the language Solomon uses.  He calls it, not just the rod, but the 'rod of discipline' (or chastisement, correction).  The Hebrew word for 'discipline' carries with it the idea of 'instruction,' just as our word 'discipline' connotes the idea of 'discipleship.'

Solomon's wisdom reminds us that the rod is a teacher, but it must be wielded in the hands of one who acts as a teacher.  A good spank will communicate, but clear communication must accompany and support what that rod says.

Ultimately, it comes down to one's goal.  The foolishness of a child is not pent up in his or her rear.  It is bound up in the heart.  A child may learn discipline by the rod.  But the rod alone will not touch the deepest regions of his/her soul where folly truly resides.

On the other hand, "The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

To be sure, the rod by itself can be a means of provoking your child to wrath and driving them further into foolishness.  For this reason, it must be kept in mind that the rod assumes the use of good communication, regular instruction, and godly exhortation. 

This, of course, begins with family worship: The Bible must be opened, read, and applied in the home.  Children should also be made to sit through worship as much as they can so that they can hear God's word declared from the pulpit, sung in music, and administered through the sacraments.  

Immersion in the Scriptures might not be as dramatic as a paddle, but it is much more dynamic and the power thereof should not be underestimated.

Moreover, when the rod is employed, it should typically be accompanied with instruction and affirmation.  Parents should speak to their children about their need of discipline and the reason for it.  After physical discipline takes place, children should be given expressions of affection to affirm your love, exhorted in how their behavior should change, directed in repentance/forgiveness, and encouraged through prayer.

In his book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" Ted Trip tells the story of little Charlie, who had been caught stealing money from the church's offering plate.  The child was confronted and made to return the money to the pastor.  He produced $2 and proceeded to apologize, tears streaming down his face.  

The pastor commended the boy and began to explain that this is exactly why Christ came; that God sent his Son to die for people like us who were willing to steal from God and his people.  Jesus life and death was for the purpose of making people givers and not takers.

At this Charlie broke into more sobs and drew out another $20 from his pocket.  He had prepared to go through the motions and keep back the hefty sum, but the gospel wouldn't let him do that.  It reached into the depths of his soul and produced a change of paramount proportions.

In Need of Counsel?
​The Word of God has answers to all our problems.  If you or someone you know is dealing with a life dominating issue - such as anxiety, anger, depression, or relational conflict, there's hope.  Contact our leadership today and begin the road to restoration & relief.

​I begin this article without having picked a picture above.  I browsed the database of "parenting" and "family" pictures.  Most of them have a sunny glow as the silhouetted mother and father skip along hand in hand with their adoring children.  An aura of peaceful joy pervades as they gaze lovingly into one another's eyes.

But that just seems a little too perfect for an article on parenting. 

Let's face it: Parenting is difficult.  Sure, there is love and laughter.  There are moments that will be etched upon the heart as golden memories.  But there are also a lot of tears, heartbreak, and tough decisions that have to be made along the way.

Why is that?  It is because children arrive pre-programed.  The factory setting, so to speak, is folly.

This is where Christian parenting begins: knowing the child's true nature and understanding the state of their hearts.  Scripture tells us that man is conceived and born in sin (Ps. 51:5).  Children are sinners by nature because they have inherited Adam's corruption (Rom. 5:19).  As a result, they sin and have a propensity towards all kinds of foolish behavior.  

This is what sets Christian parenting apart from most of the world.  The prevailing belief is that man is "basically good."  This leads to a certain style of parenting (or lack thereof!).  They may call it "permissive" parenting or give it more fancy lingo (such as "montessori").  But the idea is that kids don't need a lot of discipline, teaching, or expressed parental intervention.

In the worlds eyes, parents are merely providers of basic necessities - clothes, food, shelter, toys.  At best, they provide an environment for the child's success.  On the other hand, there are those, like Rousseau and Marx, who believe parents to be a serious detriment to a child's overall personal development!

The Scriptural view is much different.  Children have a serious innate problem.  They are by foolish by nature.  Selfishness, impatience, laziness, discontent, and conceit are riveted into the very fabric of who they are.  Thus, they instinctively desire to lie, resist authority, cheat, quarrel, and pursue every other form of folly.

This is why they need wise and godly parents.  Parents are God's main tool for ministering to these inward defects.  Through a parent's ministry a child comes face to face with God and His interests.  The fundamental problems etched upon their souls are engaged and given right direction. 

To be sure, parents do not change the heart.  This is God's domain of operation.  This is why some children may follow in the steps of Esau.

Nevertheless, mothers, fathers, grandfathers, & grandmothers are God's agents in dealing with the heart.  Through you folly is addressed, correction is applied, and instruction is given.  Through you God chooses to do His normal work of bringing about change.  Through you the folly in their hearts can be dislodged and driven far from them.

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Parenting can be tough.  It can be even tougher when your children have become adults.  But what do you do if your grown child leaves the church and lives a secular life?

Sometimes covenant children do not continue in the faith once they leave the home.  While we hope for the best, we know that many children don't end up continuing in the faith. 

Parents may feel as though there is nothing they can do.  But this couldn't be farther from the truth.  Parents forever remain the single most effective agent in their child's spiritual nurture. 

What's more, Scripture gives us guidelines to how to parent to the glory of God even after they have left the house.

1.  Pray:  Never underestimate the effectual working of parental prayer (James 5:16).  Augustine, who is considered one of the church's greatest theologians, attributes his late-in-life conversion to the prayers of his mother, Monica.  

Since it is God who convinces and converts sinners, get on your knees.  Pray for their hearts, pray that they meet other Christians, pray that they read and hear Scripture, pray that they may be kept from temptation, pray that they would be convicted repeatedly, pray that they may recollect the spiritual nurture they received in early life (John Newton was converted later in life by remembering Scripture verses which were drilled into him when he was 6 years old).  

2.  Evaluate yourself and get right with God:  Our child's road to repentance may begin with our own.  No parent is perfect, but sometimes parents can be guilty of "provoking their child to wrath."  Some households have missed the boat on "bringing them up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4)

If this is the case, there is no need to wallow in guilt.  God's grace covers a multitude of sins.  What's more, there is still great opportunities to parent in the adult years.  But we need to be honest, confess where we failed, and make efforts to change.  We don't want our ongoing parenting to continue to make the same mistakes.

3.  Ask for forgiveness (if necessary):  Show your child true brokenness for sin.  If you were legalistic, overly harsh, or critical in their younger days, go to them.  Admit you were wrong to do that and sincerely ask them for their forgiveness.  This is what God wants, and it can go a long way to opening new, deeper lines of communication.

3.  Testify about Christ:  Christ is a part of your life.  Talk him up. Not in a cheesy or forced way - they will see right through that.  But at the same time, don't feel that you have to hold back.  Your child may have rejected Christ, but you haven't.  And you have every liberty to proclaim the goodness of the Lord.

So be open about it.  Talk about the things the Lord is doing in your life.  Talk about the interesting people and programs at church.  Let them know how helpful the church's leadership is.  Offer the wisdom of Scripture where appropriate.  

You don't have to preach.  All you need to do is be a witness.  You can talk about how great Christ is, just as you'd chat up a good game or vacation.  Each time you do, you set before your child a little gospel invitation.

4.  Discuss their life's choices:  You are still the parent.  You still parent the child, no matter how old they are.  And parents talk with their kids when they make bad choices. 

You may not nag or harp on them.  You cannot command, scold, or rebuke them like you did when they were little.  But you can have a mature, grown up conversation with them.  As a matter of fact, your child expects you to discuss these things with them.  That's because it's your job.

5.  Let it go:  "Once you’ve lovingly shared your opinion on the situation, there really is nothing else to say. Your child is an adult now and free to make his or her own decisions, even if you don’t agree."^  In sum, it's time to let the Holy Spirit take over.  He is the one who brings conviction (Jn. 16:8).

6.  Love them; enjoy them; bless them, praise them, have fun with them:  In other words, keep that relationship alive and reflecting the fatherly kindness and lavish interest of God.  The gospel is the good news of life and acceptance with God.  Let your child know know something of this by the way you interact with them.

To be sure, there is no magical wand or unique parenting trick that will ensure your child embraces Christ.  But you can still use your covenantal position to point your child to God and His grace.

Are you interested in learning more about how to parent a wayward child?  Whether that child is in your home or grown, you can still be a great blessing to them and point them to a relationship with Christ. 

Contact our pastoral staff to get counsel in this area.

"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe." Proverbs 29:25
​
What haunts you?  What constantly lurks in your mind?  What is it that frightens you into stopping dead in your tracks or pushes you into hiding?  

Ghouls and goblins are all the rage this time of year, but Hollywood's most spine-chilling horror scenes pale in comparison to the everyday opinions and approval of ordinary men. It's more terrifying than demons and more fiendish than devils. 

Criticism, rejection, the need for respect--these things can cripple us.  We may not hide under the covers or shake uncontrollably in the fetal position , but we do become paralyzed in other ways.  It can paralyze our speech or make us indecisive.  The desire for approval can force us to hide behind certain patterns of behavior that are unbecoming or irrational.  

For instance...

• A young person feels he must buy certain clothes to be considered "cool."
• The "perfectionist's" home is driven by the appearance of being in control.
• The "people pleaser" takes on too many responsibilities and can't say no.
• She over-thinks what she says or second guesses what she did because she doesn't know if it met with approval.
• He is constantly spending money to "keep up with the Joneses."

Each of these examples is an example of someone who is ensnared.  Their ego is enslaved to the approval of others.  What's more, their lives are caught in a grinding mess of keeping this inflated image.

But the cross of Christ brings redemption.  When we crucify our ego and turn to Christ we find great freedom and safety. 

The gospel affords us a ton of relief; it provides us with the greatest form of security:  God accepts us, sinners though we are. 

Our identity is not tied to what my neighbor thinks, but now it is tied up in my union with Christ.  Here is my solace: God thinks of me as His child!  I am at peace because my life is hidden with Christ in God.

As our minds are cased upon God, we can be bold to live and speak as we ought.  There is confidence and self assurance because we know that God's approval is the only thing of real worth.  Man's approval is fleeting and vain.

Those who are in Christ do not need to be constantly looking over their shoulder or worrying what is in the minds of others.  They are freed from these hauntings because they are ever looking up to God, to please Him.

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce;
then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.
Proverbs 3:9-10

Money is important to God.  That's because the way you handle it shows your heart's affection for God.  

Scripture makes it clear that propriety in the purse is a priority.  For instance, 

• Sixteen of the thirty-eight parables were concerned with how to handle money and possessions.

• In the Gospels, an amazing one out of ten verses (288 in all) deal directly with the subject of money.

• The Bible offers 500 verses on prayer, less than 500 verses on faith, but more than 2,000 verses on money and possessions.

To be sure, the sheer amount of teaching dedicated to this one topic can't be squeezed into this email.  But take note of the following priorities for the purse:

1.  Give to God and be as Generous as Possible:  
The OT tithe was the "first fruits" of the crop.  The Israelites were to give to God first, recognizing that all was His, His kingdom was first, and their livelihood was dependent upon Him.  (Mal. 3:8f; Lev. 27:30).  It was their way of showing that God was first in their lives.

In similar fashion the NT tells us to dedicate a portion of our earnings to the work of the ministry (2 Cor. 16:2).  As we make our budget, we must likewise put the glory and honor of God first in our spending habits.

2.  Live within your means: (i.e. be content)
What do you do with the rest of your money?  The answer is simple: don't squander it on wasteful living.  You must be responsible to buy only what you can afford, demonstrate thrift, and limit your pleasures. 

If your income is slim, you may need to cut out restaurants and eat a lot of rice & peanut butter.  Your car may have to be traded in for a bike.  Whatever measures you take, you are seeking to say to God: "I love you more than the things of this world and I will be happy with what you give me."

This is the glory of a monthly budget.  It helps you watch where each penny goes and stay accountable to God.  

Need help with a budget?  Check out the Every Dollar App too.

3.  Thrift:
It is interesting that after multiplying the few loaves of bread to feed a couple thousand people, the disciples picked up the leftovers.  Even though the Son of God could make bread appear out of thin air, that was no excuse to be wasteful.  

God wants us to be cognizant about what we have and thrifty in how we use it, even if we have in abundance.  Being a good steward means taking care of the all of the God given gifts in our possession, not wasting a single bit.  

4.  Save for the future:
Proverbs 30:25 tells us about ants that gather and save for the winter.  They have a forward thinking life and not a mind for the pleasures of the present.  That little bug is a sermon on how God wants us to be laying up what we can for the future.

We shouldn't leave retirement to "faith" or blindly believe that "God will take care of me."  True faith will plan now and take the proper steps to guarantee some stability for the coming "winter."
 
5.  Ditch the Debt: 
Scripture tells us that the debtor is slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7).  Your life is essentially owned by those who hold the rights to your wallet. 

More than that, debt sucks away your income by means of interest payments.  It is usually not financially wise to pull out a car loan, rack up credit cards, or become encumbered with student loans.  You pay more in the long run.  The biblical method is to save now, buy later: 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

This article first appeared in the Hopewell Weekly.  Subscribe to get updates, teachings, and announcements delivered to your inbox.

What is at the top of your prayer list?  What issue consumes your prayer life?  When you bow your head, what is it that you seek with the most fervor and zeal?

Is it God's glory?

• that the Lord would be known, acknowledged, and highly esteemed? 
• that His titles, attributes, ordinances, Word, and works be regarded as supremely sacred?
• that atheism and ignorance be removed, idols destroyed, and profaneness prevented?

It may be argued that the Lord's prayer has a rank and file to it.  The first three petitions focus on the Lord directly.  The second three focus on our personal interests:

• Hallowed by Your name 
• Your kingdom come 
• Your will be done
• Give us this day our daily bread
• Forgive us our debts
• Lead us not into temptation

The first of the first petitions has to do with God's honor.  It is, you may say, the "first and greatest commandment" of prayer, ranking before our daily bread and even our salvation. 

To hallow is to regard as holy, sacred, and with great admiration.  Negatively speaking, we may say that it forbids any flippant attitude towards the things of God, emptiness of heart for God, or irreligious use of those items which pertain to God.

What if we began to re-prioritize our prayers along these lines?  What if, instead of starting our prayers with our needs and earth bound concerns, we asked for a greater reverence for God in our lives:

• that the Lord's Day would be better sanctified;
• that God's name would be publicly and privately called upon;
• that the Scriptures would be given the highest esteem,
• that profanity would vanish,
• that sacrilegious activities, superstitious practices, and false teaching would disappear.

Would not many of our problems be corrected if we sought and achieved this by prayer?

To be sure, blasphemy increases problems.  "I will prepare your grave, for you are vile," said the Lord (Nahum 1:4).   We know that He does not hold him "guiltless who takes His name in vain."  

But we also know that God will "honor those who honor him."  (1 Sam 2:30).  Does this not make it all the more imperative to pray for God's name to be hallowed?

It is not by chance that this statement stands at the head of the Lord's Prayer.  The glory of God is to be the chief pursuit of our lives.  Let this priority thus beget the priority of our prayer life: Hallowed be Thy name.

Want to develop your marriage with godly goals?  The following article provides you with some specialized areas of concentration that may be helpful for you as you seek to 

1.   Speak Only Positive and Good Things About Each Other! 
Words are very powerful and have meaning.  Studies of couple who continued to speak positive and uplifting words to one another had meaningful marriages.  If you want the other person to love and take care of you for a lifetime, invest in speaking good things about one another.  Compare your relationship to a bank account.  The more positive deposits you make, the more valuable your account. 

2.  Don’t Hold Grudges!  
There will be disagreements.  Forgive easily and to work on issues.  One of the marvelous things about relationships is that we are all different.  A difference of opinion does not mean a couple is not compatible.  It just means that we all have different opinions.  We all have different ways to accomplish the same thing or there are times when the other person has a better idea.

3.  Pray For One Another Every Day! 
Marriage is a sacred institution and involves a spiritual battle.   There are forces of evil seeking to break it apart or cause friction within it.  Therefore, we must dedicate ourselves to praying with and for our mates as much as possible.  Set time apart each day to pray for your spouse's needs, protection, and advancement.  Pray that the Lord would show you how to better serve your spouse and be useful for advancing their happiness.

4.  Buy Things For One Another! 
One of the biggest complaints of marriage is when a person stops doing nice things as they did when they were dating.  Just because we are now married does not mean for us to stop sending cards, small gifts, flowers, going out on a date, and taking a special time to tell each other you love each other.  Things don’t have to be expensive, but it is the thought that counts.  Remember to invest in your relationship!

5.  Worship Together!
Marriage is difficult enough without maintaining a commitment to worship (weekly and daily).  There are too many distractions and influences that will hinder a relationship without God.  Remember your wedding vows, “What God has joined together.”  Being close to God allows a couple to seek wisdom and guidance in their relationship.  It also provides a willingness to allow forgiveness to play an important part of your marriage. 

6.  Touch, Spend Special Time Alone!  
There is something special about touching!  One thing is that is shows the importance of each other.  Touch never solves disagreements, but it does give validation to the fact that you care for the other person.  So be sure to give hugs, put your arm around your spouse, or give a simple yet loving touch on the shoulder.  Affirm your spouse and spread your affection through small, daily contacts. 

7.  Don’t Let Arguments or Disagreements Get Out Of Hand  
Disagreements in every relationship will happen, even in the best of marriages.  Either of you can call a “time out” to set a time to discuss disagreements or you may agree to disagree for that moment. 

Remember when disagreements arise, it is always best to try to limit your anger and communicate to each other in positive ways.  Never name call or place negative put-downs to one another.  Do not use humor to make the other person look stupid.  Successful marriages have learned the importance of loving one another without using negative influences or trying to get one’s way.  These will only destroy a relationship.  Once you fully understand this as a couple, you are on your way to having a more successful and productive relationship.

8.  Express Your Gratitude!
Don't take your spouse for granted.  Did she get the kids dressed?  This was a monumental thing.  Sure it has happened a thousand times, but it is no less significant each time.  Make sure she knows that you appreciate it. 

Did your husband make any kind of headway on your "honey-do" list?  Leave a little note of gratitude for him.  Your spouse needs your affirmation and regular praise.  In this "home church" we should regularly build one another up and fulfill the Lord's command to be thankful (Col. 3:15).

 
___________________________________
[The above article was adapted from pastoralcareinc.com]

Fear, worry, and anxiety are just feelings - just like anger, guilt, and annoyance.  They are, to be sure, a natural part of our humanity.  But they are just emotions, and they don't have to govern us and become sin.

God created us as emotive beings.  Our emotions are part of who we are.  Each of our feelings is part of our divine design and has its place.  But, due to the fall, we must keep them in their place.  

To be sure, our problems are not our emotions.  Our problem is letting ourselves be ruled by our emotions.  When we allow our feelings to dominate us and dicatate our behavior (and not the Word of God), that is sin.

Being annoyed with the faucet dripping is not necessarily wrong.  That initial annoyance may be said to be a natural feeling.  Bashing the sink in with a sledge hammer or yelling at your husband for not fixing it would be sinful.  You've just let your emotion drive  and control you.

The same applies to fear and worry.  Fear of your child being abducted is not necessarily a bad thing.  Hovering over them every minute of their lives and not allowing them to take risks or carry out normal life activities is sinful.  That fear has come to dominate your behavior.  Parenting is no longer about raising a responsible and productive servant whose life is in the hands of God; it is about my control and squelching life.

John Piper once said that "God designed your emotions to be gauges, not guides. They’re meant to report to you, not dictate you." 

Those are beautiful words.  When it comes to fear, it is a good thing.  Fear is an emotion that reports to us: it tells us something is not right.  It reports the fact that there is danger; the potential for harm.

While worry or fear may be a God given guage, it is not a guide.  God's word is to be our guide.  Thus, we must have the Word of God rule over our emotions and we must tell them how far they are to go.  Moreover, we must will what is right in the midst of them.

Did David fear Goliath?  Certainly not like the rest of the Israelite soldiers who cowered in their foxholes.  These men (if you can call them that!) were guided  by fear.  The fear had become their boss.  They would not serve God, but served the fear.

David may have been scared.  Fear may have rightly said, "There's a human tank out there."  But even if he did have some level of concern/fear (we are not told exactly), we do know that he courageously ran towards the big oaf and accomplished the Lord's will.  Even before going to the battle feild he entrusted himself to God with his words.

When the Bible tells us to "Fear not" or "Do not worry," it is telling us not to let these emotions drive us or divert us from our God given service.   When we are annoyed, we actively work to suppress the desire to act on that annoyance.  Instead of lashing out, we try to tenderly deal with the source of our annoyance. 

When we are fearful, we do the same.  We suppress the desire to run, stew, cower, or fret.  Instead, we think of God, thank Him for this circumstance to prove Himself to be mighty, call upon His streghth and protection, and actively will to do as He would have us. 

Fear is good.  It is a guage.  We can thank God for the emotion of self preservation (or better yet, the emotion which indicates our need for God's preservation).  But it is not a guide.  It is just a feeling which, along with all other emotions, must submit to God and be kept in its place.

When dealing with worry, many good steps can be taken.  A person can pray about their worries.  They may recite Scripture verses to combat their worries.  They may try to put their worries out of their mind.  

But the worries continue.  Despite all these commendable (Biblical!) actions the fears and anxieties may persist.  What is the deal?

Perhaps we need to take a step back.  The worry-wart may have skipped a most vital step:  confession of it.  Maybe there is no redemption because you've not owed up to it before God and sought His forgiveness for it.

Scripture is clear about the role of confession.  It is not just something to do to "get something off your chest."  Confession is means of restoration and redemption. 

1 John 1:9 -  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 
John tells us that God will not just forgive us for our sin, but cleanse us of it.  This is not just a reference to the guilt of our sin.  It includes the actual presence of it too.  God works to purge away our worrisome fears as we acknowledge the reality of this sin in our lives. 

Psalms 51:17 - The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
God loves to see people who are broken for sin.  Instead of despising them, He moves near to them to help them.  He restores and "renews a right spirit" within them (Ps. 51:10).

Proverbs 28:13 - Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
If we are not confessing our sin, we are concealing it.  If that's the case, we will not prosper..  

If we don't confess our worry to God, we are concealing our transgression behind a self righteous, works based religion.  We end up acting like we don't have a problem or acting like we can handle the problem on our own.  

But if we acknowledge the evil we are involved in and take personal responsibilty for our folly, we recieve mercy.  God brings the victory of the cross to bear in our lives and the power and presence of worry will begin to wane.

So, next time your thoughts begin to race or feel yourself becoming anxitious, make a point to pray.  Humbe yourself before God and confess that you have not kept a quiet and determined mind.  Something like this may be approrpriate:

Lord,

I have not put my faith in you nor hoped in your Soveriegn care.  I am troubled by the present situation and have become guilty of stressing about the affairs of life.  I acknowledge that I am overly focused on myself: my control, my welfare, my perception before men. 

​Forgive me for being anxitious and help me to live a life before you that is pleasing.  May you give me courage to live and to work whatever may come.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Throughout history membership in a church has been a regular practice.  Christians recognized that regular attendance and participation in a local church was important.

In our modern erra this has changed. Today, many people who call themselves Christians don't see the need for regular, weekly fellowship or commitment to any one particular church.

But the Scriptures have quite a bit to say about the need for affiliation with local body of believers.  For instance, we find that it is necessary...

1. To be identified with Christ and formally associated with His people

• The Church is identified in this world by professing believers and their children. One makes profession of faith in the local church publicly, before God and his people, and so becomes part of the visible church which is the manifestation of invisible and universal church (Rom. 10:9-11, Rom. 16, Col. 4:15, WCF 25.2). 

 

• In order to partake of the full benefits of the family of God, there must be a way to identify those who are part of that family.  Publicly professing membership is the means to that end.

 

• In the Old Testament those who were identified as the people of God were members of the nation of Israel.  Gentiles who were converted became citizens of that nation.  In the New Testament the people of God are identified as the Church.  Therefore, those who are in Christ have responsibility to identify themselves with this body.

 
2.  To take part in the sacraments.

• The Lord’s Supper and baptism are for those who have made credible profession of faith and placed themselves under the authority of the Christ’s shepherds. 

 

• The table of our Lord is for those who demonstrate a life of repentance and are in good standing with the Lord.  In order to be in good standing with the church (1 Cor. 11).  

 

• Baptism is a sign of entry into the church (Acts 2:38-41; Matt. 28:19).  

 
3.  To come under the care and authority of the Elders.

• Christ has charged certain men with the duty of shepherding His people.  These authorities manifest Christ’s care in the world (Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2).   Scripture mandates a Christian to subject himself to these authorities because (Hebrews 13:17).  

• The terms for the church in the original languages mean ‘called out ones,’ thus denoting their duty of holiness.  The elders and church body provide encouragement toward and accountability in this endeavor.

• Church discipline requires elder oversight and membership.  If someone is excommunicated, it means being cast out of the church (Matthew 18; 1 Cor. 5; Titus 3:10)

 
4.  To be united in full fellowship with their brothers and sisters in Christ and enjoy the rights and privileges of the church. 

• Christians are to edify one another with their gifts and graces (1 Cor. 12:12f): Teaching, governing (elders), helping (deacons).  This is best done when there is a distinct commitment for regularly meeting with one another.  Everywhere Scripture talks about gifts it assumes a united body (Romans 12, 1 Cor. 12)

 

• A Christian is to care for his brother, encourage them, and demonstrate specific acts of love and good works on their behalf (Gal. 6:2, 1 Cor. 16:1f, 1 Thess. 4:18, John 13:34,35).  

5.  To advance the church in the world

• Missions takes organization and coordination of resources (Phil. 1:5, Matt. 28:19,20).  If people neglect membership then evangelism is hindered.

 

• Christians are to participate in the election of officers, calling of pastors, and other administrations of the church (e.g. budgets).  Voting in the local church can only be done in and through membership.

Do not be anxious.  Fear not. Let not your heart be troubled.  Do not be weighed down with the cares of life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Easier said than done, right?  

The Bible is replete with commands not to worry.  The admonitions against it are so clear and repetitive that one can easily become worried about becoming worried!

But God's word is clear:  We must wage war on worry.  We have a duty to not let ourselves be distracted with it or dominated by it.

But how do we do this?  How can we experience sanctification in this area?  

The first step is to confess it and take responsibility for it.  That is to say, when thoughts begin to race around in our minds and we become obsessed with particular situations (real or fantasized), we must own up to the fact that we are in sin.  We are in fact disobeying God.

One of the reasons anxiety persists in our lives is because we fail in this, the most simple and basic part of repentance.  Instead of turning to God, we will do one of the following:

1.  We blame others -  I'm worried because my kid is 10 minutes past curfew.  My boss was supposed to tell me if I got the promotion last week. It's not my fault I'm strung out, right?  Wrong.  You may worry about others, but they are not the cause of your worries.  Your anxiety is due only to your own sinful proclivity.  Don't pass the buck onto them.

2.  We minimize it -  To many people, worry is not a sin.  We don't want to admit that it is a transgression against God and a form of disobedience.  We'd rather think of it as "deep concern" or think of ourselves as having a full heart.  But we must be true to Scripture and recognize that it is indeed an offense to our Lord.

3.  We excuse it -  I have a right to be worried, after all I'm his father/mother.  I'm a worrier; it's just who I am.  Someone has to be concerned around here.  We will come up with all kinds of justifications.  We will rationalize our sin into perfect reasonableness.  But the truth is, we do not have a right or excuse to be all hot and bothered about anything.

4.  We think we have no power over it -  I can't stop it. I've been this way all my life.  It is a disorder. I can only cope and make do.  This is the defeatist mentality.  Its saying that redemption isn't possible, so why even try repenting?  In the words of Churchill, "Never, never, never give up."  The Lord has not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

5.  We gloss over it - For many, worry isn't even considered to be a sin.  They don't think of it as being a real infraction against God's law.  It could be thought of as a problem or struggle that they have, but not a sin.  But Scripture is clear: it is a grave error and serious offense to God.  It must be confessed and repented of.

If we are ever going to seek victory over worry, we must wage war on it.  This means we must first come to terms with it and own up to it before God. As we begin taking responsibility for our sin and acknowledging our failures to God, we will be well on our way to victory in that battle.

Click the pictures to view the full scale gallery.

Over the course of the next year we will be making our confession of faith through the use of the New City Catechism.  This contemporary teaching tool covers some of the basics of the Christian faith.  

This video gives you a little introduction to the NCC and a brief synopsis of why we as Christians need catechisms for our growth in Christ.

​Sure you do.  Everyone wants to enjoy the good life.  No one wants to wake up and curse the fact that the sun has risen again.

But did you know that it is possible to love life and enjoy good days?  In Psalm 34 the Lord tells us the key to making this happen:

Whoever desires to love life and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil and
his lips from speaking deceit; 
let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it. ​